Friday, September 4, 2015

An Original Fable

Once upon a time, there was a wife whose husband passed away unexpectedly. Soon after his death, she began attending bereavement sessions to help overcome her grief. As time went on, she felt as if she would never get over her husband's death. He had not been perfect, but he was an awesome lover and she missed the way he could make her feel when they were intimate. She had been attending these bereavement sessions for over ten years and nothing was helping her overcome her grief. One afternoon, a couple of hours before a scheduled session, she said to herself, "I am gaining no benefit from going to these sessions. I go week after week and I sit and wish I were somewhere else. I will go to this session tonight but it will be my last one. Because I don't feel a benefit from going, I will stop wasting my time and stop wishing for my beloved husband to come back from heaven. I will be glad when this night is over." Later, at the session, the wife spoke up to the other attendees and stated that after over ten years of grieving for her beloved husband, she was no longer going to attend the sessions. She stated that she realized she would never stop grieving for her late husband and it had taken her over ten years to realize that. The other attendees murmured softly as she said her farewell to the group. At the end of the meeting, after everyone had appeared to leave, the wife locked up the room and turned around. Sitting outside was a woman, sobbing. This woman had sporadically attended the bereavement sessions over the last ten years. While she was not as much of a regular attendee as the wife had been, this woman had never said a word during the sessions. She would sit in the back of the room and listen. Even after a session, this woman had never spoken directly to the wife. The wife knew that this woman had lost her husband around the same time that she had lost hers and had began to attend the bereavement sessions around the same time. Now, this woman approached the wife. "I heard what you said. Did you learn nothing? You still think these sessions are for you?" And with that, the woman walked away from the wife.

The End

Thursday, September 3, 2015

In the Works

This was on Craigslist. I'm trying to set up its purchase today! It's not exactly what I want because it will go in my dock and not be an external hard drive I can take back and forth from home to work.

New Seagate 1TB Desktop HDD SATA 6Gb/s 64MB Cache 3.5-Inch Internal - $40

Hi, I'm selling New Seagate 1TB Desktop HDD SATA 6Gb/s 64MB Cache 3.5-Inch Internal Bare Drive.
I ordered from Amazone, but I didn't open. Please text me

I'm to the point where my Cloud drive (at home) has copies of copies of copies of files and I need a fresh location to sort through the chaos. Then, when the chaos has been sorted out, I'll look into a new and portable external hard drive for taking to work for listening to tunes as I work.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015


Wow, does this bring back memories! GTR has been criminally overlooked. No, they were not a major player when they released their self-titled album in 1989.

Memories of the Twins

I was trying to remember a name that I knew Jeremy, my co-worker and guitarist / vocalist in Rattlebox, would know. After telling me the name, we had the following chat:
Me: are you in the Twin Cities?
Jeremy: Yes, that's where we are staying.
me: I have fond memories of downtown Twin Cities for a few reasons.

  1. During my freshman year of [Mount Mercy] college (1988), Karen and I met on a bus trip from CR to Mpls to see the Twins play the Chi White Sox. The guy down the hall from me was from Waukegan, IL, and coaxed me into going. Life-changing.
  2. My brother lives in a northern suburb - Rogers - and we had his bachelor party downtown. I don't remember much except that there's a bar called the Library
  3. In 2012, my friend Kevin and I drove up to see Opeth / Katatonia @ First Avenue. That was a good time.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Seven Days, Seven Awesome Tunes

It's 9:15 PM and I'm organizing the files on my network Cloud drive. On one of the drives, I have 10,735 PDFs. Before feeling impressed, realize that most of these PDFs are copies of copies. I have files called:
  • 2007_02.pdf
  • 2007_02 (2).pdf
  • 2007_02 (3).pdf
  • 2007_02 (4).pdf
  • 2007_02 (5).pdf
  • 2007_02 (6).pdf
Each file is 6,637,345 so when I delete the files above that have a number within the paren, I will free up 39,824,070. I've not done a search on how many (6).* files exist, but I'm assuming, from looking at what I'm looking at, I have a lot.

But all of that is not what I wanted to write about. Instead, I wanted to write that one week from tonight is the Bayside concert at Wooly's in Des Moines. I am journeying to Des Moines with Chris, my friend from QDS. I look forward to both aspects of the evening: the nearly 2 hour car ride conversation and seeing one of my favorite bands live.

The following are the seven songs I really, truly, hope they play next week.
  1. Devotion and Desire
  2. They're Not Horses, They're Unicorns
  3. Blame It On Bad Luck
  4. Montauk
  5. I and I
  6. Masterpeace
  7. The Wrong Way

Resurrecting the Curse and Fishing for Data

Two quick things from my email inbox this AM that warrant a few words.
  1. Sometimes, I wish it were easier to turn off the internal editor / critical thinker / text analyzer aspect of my self that I have nurtured by working as a technical writer for 20 years. In at least one way, it would make life easier as I wouldn't feel compelled to notice websites and writing that are blatantly wrong. Maybe, and I'm just throwing pasta against the wall to see if it sticks, the recent "Back to the Future" marathon on AMC interrupted the writing of the first sentence to the extent that it felt so perfect to write and so comprehensible to the writer that there would be zero need for an editor.
  2. Look at the bottom of this screen capture. See the hyperlink code that is behind the link? Yeah, that's not Bank of America's URL. Someone sent that email in the hope that I would click the link and submit my personal data. Not going to happen!

Monday, August 31, 2015


These two pictures strike a resounding chord in my heart and in my brain. Because Megan has gone off to UNI, I realize that what I see below is getting closer each and every day. I will laugh it off and say Megan is going to become a nun, but that is only so I don't keep seeing the scenes depicted below as vividly as I do when I think about the future...

They came from this page.

Big of a Deal

Daily Writing Tips focuses on a pet peeve of mine - the phrase "not that big of a deal" in this post and while I don't care for the phrase, honestly, I don't care for the reader's suggestion of "you just say “not that big a deal” or “not that good a movie.”" because that sounds like you're saying "not that biga deal" or "not that gooda movie" which sounds like something I would never intentionally say.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Kimmel Hosts the Lamb


From here, a frightening revelation about the work I have done on a daily basis since 2/10/1995!


Thanks for the (unnecessary) Clarification

In all the time since Alex began his junior year at Iowa City West and Megan began her freshman year at UNI, not once did I wonder if they were eating vegetables. Yesterday, the Cedar Rapids Gazette posted this article to clarify that yes, kids do not eat vegetables when they eat school lunch.

To me, this is like posting an article with the revelation that water is wet and the sun is hot.


Thursday, August 27, 2015

There it Is

I can't really recall seeing any website for a company that converts media files from one format to another spelling out exactly what it costs per cassette tape. Perhaps I've seen it before and just don't recall. That said, I'm treating as the first site.

I have ~1000 cassettes in ~20 boxes in the sump pump storage room in the basement. Given the following price of $6.95 / CD, as shown below, it would cost (1000 x 6.95 =) $6950 to pay that company to convert my cassettes.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Alex Demystified

Get a Life

The Scandalous Non-Scandal

I've not been keeping up on the scandalous non-scandals that have been rocking the political world. Both sides - liberal & conservative - are like a walker on "The Walking Dead" as they devour any living issue and chew it up relentlessly. In no particular order:
  1. Donald Trump is leading the polls as far as the Republican candidates for president
  2. There's Hillary Clinton's use of a private email server during her Secretary of State tenure (read this for more information).
  3. Planned Parenthood videos - the 8th Planned Parenthood Video Seems to Confirm Planned Parenthood Delivering Live Babies then Letting them Die
    • And the Republican Congress refuses to defund the organization?!? - (read this for more information
  4. Lois Lerner's IRS / email scandal continues to be discussed (read this for more information)
  5. Per Bill O'Reilly, speculation swirls as VP Joe Biden (apparently) is considering a presidential run in 2016.

Fine! It worked!

I think some "Best of" lists and/or "Ranking of [band name]'s Songs" lists are successfully making me believe I am truly unique. Consider the moron that wrote this list - Metallica Albums Ranked Worst to Best - and I'm flabbergasted. "Load" is a better album than "Death Magnetic" in what universe?!?

Fine! It worked! I won't ever click on a 'best of' list again!

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Surprised, But Not Really

After the speeches by Rollins and HHH went on and on (and on), I began to suspect that there wasn't a real trophy that was about to be revealed. I suspected that there was something unexpected about to happen. WWE delivered! Details here

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Satire Spot On

WWE Legend Makes Blah, Blah, Blah

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine Trashes Woman's Wrestling (via

Friday, August 21, 2015

Where I Was 25 Years Ago is Not Where I am 25 Years Later

Editor's note: It's rare that I add a new label when I write a post. Today, I added the "Alice in Chains" label. It surprised me that I had never done that before.
It's beyond my comprehension that Facelift, the debut album from Alice in Chains, was released 25 years ago. This article - - goes through the story of how that album was initially received.

Twenty-five years ago, on Tuesday, August 21, 1990, I was not ready for Alice in Chains. I was still not ready for them when they were the opening band during the Clash of the Titans tour (Anthrax, Slayer, and Megadeth were the other bands on that tour) when it stopped in Cedar Rapids in summer 1991. It was about a month after that concert that I began to understand that "Man in a Box" is a really good tune!

I talked to Stephanie, Megan's roommate's mom, as we were moving Megan in to her dorm room. As it often does, music came up in conversation. She said that Alice in Chains was her favorite band and that she didn't like the current lead singer.

Per, these are the top 10 Alice in Chains tunes over the last 25 years.

4.      Listen to 'Hollow'
7.      Listen to 'Rooster'
9.      Listen to 'Would?'

Coulter Going After Fox

I like Ann Coulter and, as a frequent contributor on Fox News, this article surprised me. She is critical of how Fox News is discussing the 14th Amendment.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

More Foos & Fan Interaction

Warning! The videos on this page contain f-bombs!!

This site updates a recent report about a fan crying as Dave Grohl was introducing "My Hero" at a recent concert. The fan was sobbing. However, it wasn't because of alcohol. He was interviewed - read this - and revealed that he was overcome with grief because his mother passed away 6 months ago. While my mother passed away more recently than his (4 months, 1 week, 2 days ago), I get why the fan was sobbing.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Hacked Site Repercussions in the Future

Iowa Basketball Tickets

I've never owned season tickets to Iowa athletics but, as documented on this blog over the years, I have attended several events at Kinnick Stadium and Carver-Hawkeye Arena over the years. I've ranted about the people that leave early in order to beat the traffic and I've ranted about the idiotic policy that prevented me from taking an Iowa basketball poster into Kinnick Stadium that Alex and I had just picked up at Carver-Hawkeye Arena because, on that day, we had a parking pass to park in that lot, watched some of the women basketball team's practice, and then walked over to Kinnick. That all said, when I saw this article on, I nodded my head in agreement.

Mark and Susie have season tickets for UNI football and, this year, Karen instructed Mark and Susie to purchase 3 season tickets for Karen, Alex, and I so that we could sit with them and watch Megan march at halftime. For 3 season football tickets for the UNI Panthers, guess how much?

UNI Season Ticket Pricing

Non PSC Adult $109.00
PSC Adult $99.00 *Price Available until April 1 Deadline
Non PSC Faculty $99.00
PSC Faculty $89.00 *Price Available until April 1 Deadline
Youth $59.00
Red Zone $59.00

2015 UNI Football Schedule

Sept. 5 at Iowa State
Sept. 19 at Cal Poly
Sept. 26 OPEN
Oct. 3 at Illinois State*
Oct. 10 at North Dakota State*
Oct. 17 WESTERN ILLINOIS (Homecoming)*
Oct. 24 at South Dakota State*
Nov. 7 INDIANA STATE* (Family Weekend)
Nov. 14 at Missouri State*
Nov. 21 SOUTHERN ILLINOIS* (Senior Night)

Catching up and Becoming a K of C

Last night was crazy.

I have been teaching drum lessons for a few weeks now at 5:00 on Tuesdays. It's supposed to be a 30 minute lesson, but I never stop right at 5:30. Last night, I stopped our lesson at 5:45. From that drum lesson, I drove to Saint Thomas More so that I could become a 1st degree Knight of Columbus. The ceremony began at 6:15 and I didn't get home until 9:45ish. I look forward to being an active member in this organization.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Big Me & Tom Sawyer

Warning! The videos on this page contain f-bombs!!

The Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl brought up an audience member to the stage, a drummer to play their tune "Big Me" which.... wow, that must have made his not only his night, but his life to know that he jammed with the Foo Fighters in an arena with thousands of people watching him.

The second time he did this, Grohl brought up a singer to take over the mic for Rush's "Tom Sawyer" - which is not an easy song to sing! Hell, there is no such thing as an easy Rush tune.

Megan is 19

Editor's Note: I had planned to write a longer post regarding Megan's 19th birthday than the following. The following is the beginning of where a longer post was heading. I didn't have time to write more than the following and now, Sunday, 8/16/2015 @ 9 AM, it doesn't seem appropriate to finish this post as if it was completed on Friday, 8/14/2015. Thus, here is the unfinished post.

I've stared at this empty blog post for a few minutes now and am not sure where this entry is going to go. Today is my daughter's 19th birthday and, on Monday, my wife, Alex, and I will drive to a city 1.5 hours away and help her move into her dorm room. Rumor has it we are leaving our house at 6:30 AM on Monday.

Last night was her final night working at Fareway until Thanksgiving break, which seems like an eternity away from now. Even when she comes home from college for that holiday break, Alex and I will be @ the 2015 edition of NCYC in Indianapolis so we will not be home when she gets home. Of course, there may be weekends between now and then that she comes home, but with playing in the marching band at home football games, any plans regarding her coming home for a weekend are unknown.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Enter Black

I'm a day late. Yesterday was the 24th anniversary of when Metallica's Black album was released. Vaguely, I remember where I was on that day. I was in Davenport, with Karen, at a mall and we passed a record store. I bought the CD. I cannot count how many times I have listened to the songs on it. Here's an article about its release.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Questioning the Standard

What's on my mind is not a new topic. In fact, back in 2009, I wrote about a similar topic: the rules for creating software. In 2009, my focus was on the different ways software make user assistance available. You can read that post here. Today, I have a different topic to consider: the manner in which the software developer attempts to communicate information to the user. And, because it's my blessing and my curse to see the mistakes others make, especially when it comes to software development, I feel the need to write about it. After all, working as a technical writer since 2/10/1995 - 20 years, 6 months or 7486 days - has allowed me to experience and use a lot of software. I've learned from the countless user interfaces I've encountered that software has rules.  Unfortunately, not all software developers follow the rules. There's a simple reason for that: the rules are based upon opinion and what someone thinks is a good decision often turns out to not be one.

For example, I opened Photo Move 2 a while ago. This is what I saw:

I clicked No because I didn't want to update the software at that moment in time. Then I saw the following message:

The software didn't open.

If the user really doesn't have a choice, why is the first message phrased as a question? Because most software messages that deal with updating software phrase the initial message about software being out of date as a question. But it's really not a question because if the user doesn't click Yes, the software won't open. In order to use the software, there isn't a choice: upgrade or you can't use it.

So, then, why not simply state that? The first message should read something like, "There is a new update available. You should install it because your current installed version of the software will not run any longer." That's off the top of my head. What I advocate for is to have more truth in warning messages like the ones above. What are the consequences for clicking the buttons? Tell the user what they need to know before they click the button. If the first message had a message like my rewrite, I wouldn't have clicked No. I would have clicked Yes because I would have known that I wouldn't be able to run the currently installed version.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Paradiddle Love

Not Like This Part II

My previous post explained what I wanted to be doing and some of what I actually have done. This purpose of this post is to provide further details regarding what I have spent my time doing.

As I said, Alex and I went to the Shinedown concert on Friday night. There was a pleasant surprise when I saw the following note on the door to the Adler Theater:
I didn't know Otherwise was going to be opening for Shinedown until I saw that note. Otherwise (the band) is the band that sings "I Don't Apologize" - one of the songs I really wanted Lou's Classic Ride to attempt to play after seeing the following video:

For what it's worth, LCR never attempted the song, though I still can hear Joe nailing the vocals.

As far as Shinedown, I have seen them multiple times.
  1. 2004 - Memphis in May
  2. 2008 - Moline, IL
  3. 2013 (February) - Moline, IL  
  4. 2013 (August) - Cedar Rapids
  5. 2015 - Davenport, IA
On Friday, I was reminded of how much I enjoy watching Barry Kerch slay his drums. This video is from 2013, but it's a good representation of his showmanship.

Not Like This

I didn't envision spending my weekend the way it has been spent thus far.

I had a vision of myself sitting in the den, organizing a 2 foot tall stack of miscellaneous pieces of paper. The majority of these pieces of paper came home from my work cubicle a couple of weeks ago when I needed to clear out my cubicle so that I could move to the temporary space at the other end of the building. Like most things I do in life, it turned into a panic-driven project with not a lot of effort being put into to minimizing what is now a gigantic task of going through the papers.

I had a vision of myself finishing the above reorganization of that stack and then moving on to a complete reorganization of the other aspects of the den that have been neglected due to, well, spending a lot of time in Elkader. I was going to put away the stacks of CDs that I've created, take the legs off of the foosball table and get that the hell out of the den and back to the main part of the basement. I was going to finish going through the bookcase in the closet and condense the kids' games and other stuff into the brown cabinet in the main part of the basement.

I had a vision of myself finishing the stack of paper, reorganizing the den, and then sitting down at the Yamaha drum set and playing along to the set list of the band I really REALLY hope to audition for yet this month. At one point, the thought was that the band would dismiss their current drummer and bring in a replacement drummer by their gig in early September. That gig is now a mere  3 weeks, 5 days, away from today so if that is indeed going to happen, there still needs to be an audition process. The last I heard, each of the 3 remaining band members know at least 2 drummers that they wanted to audition. I don't know if that includes me or not so let's just say there's 6 candidates to play drums for this band. That's not a lot of time to schedule separate auditions for each. Truly, I realize that the timeline of their process to replace their drummer is out of my control. I can only hope that I am given the opportunity to audition and blow their minds with my drumming skills.

None of the above has really happened.

Instead, I've only briefly been in the den a few times to retrieve something I needed, such as the first three episodes of Star Wars on DVD and a power cord for my laptop which I had left in the den on Thursday night because I thought I would be spending this weekend in the den, as explained above. Both our home laptop and my work laptop have been set up on the kitchen table. I have been moving around music files on our network drives in an attempt to consolidate a bunch of backups together because, and this nearly makes me sick to write this, I think my external hard drive is on its way out the door.

Or not.

When I plug it in, I get the following message, which really means I need to somehow access my external hard drive, locate autorun.inf (which I can't believe I intentionally copied to the root of the drive), and delete it, right?

You'd be wrong if you thought that would be an easy task. When I plug in the USB cable, the entire laptop hangs. I fully understand that this Symantec Endpoint Protection is trying to make life easier for me, by protecting me from myself, but damnit, it's sure frustrating to be dealing with this on a weekend when I thought I would be doing totally different tasks!

And to seemingly make matters even more complicated, Alex is using our home laptop to upload a 23 minute video to It is from the (excellent) Shinedown concert we went to on Friday night. Glancing at the screen now, there are 1354 minutes remaining and it's at 28% done. 1354/60 = 22.56666666666667 hours. It's 8:22 AM (now) so his single video will not be completely uploaded until 6:22 AM tomorrow morning?!?

Thursday, August 6, 2015


If I say, "Steve Gadd is 70 years old," you may say, "Who is Steve Gadd?"

Steve Gadd is an outstanding drummer. Listen to the groove in this video and be mesmerized.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

More Blech

You can only delete a backup at a time so why does the message on the window state "Windows is deleting backups" when you cannot delete more than one?

Smart Software

I went to open a file that was in my "Recent Workbooks" list in Excel 2013.
  1. I selected the file.
  2. Excel "helpfully" tells me that the file isn't there, which is fine.
  3. Where Excel 2013 gets dumb is when I return to my "Recent Workbooks" list and the file is still listed! Why can't Excel 2013 be "smart software" and ask if I want to have the file removed from my "Recent Workbooks" list so that I don't have to see it again?

  4. And, sure, I can right-click the file and get a pop-up menu with the option to remove the file. How does the user know that there even is a right-click option? There's no clue as to its existence in the user interface!

This all reminds me of the arguments at a previous employer. In a nutshell, rather than have buttons to indicate the available functionality, all the functionality that could have been on a button - like Add, Change, Delete - were hidden on a right-click menu. When I argued that the user wanted to do their work and not have to discover functionality, Microsoft was thrown in my face. "Look at Windows Explorer. They don't have buttons for what the user can do." If I were in that argument now, I'd say, "And how many resources are available to a Windows user to locate information. There are (now) videos and websites dedicated to using Windows. The software we were arguing about does not have any of those resources available. And, who's to say that the design of Windows Explorer is the best example for our software's design?"

Some people want to go back in time and change the course of history; today I feel like going back and winning an argument.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Not the American Way

On July 4, 2015, I posted about Hulk Hogan being listed as one of the most patriotic professional wrestlers of all time. If you had told me on that day that by August 1, Hulk Hogan would be 100% removed from the WWE website and have his contract terminated because of a report in the National Enquirer that he used the racist N-word in a private conversation, I doubt I would have believed you. Yet, here I am, on August 1, 2015, posting about how Hulk Hogan has been removed from all things WWE.

Using what certainly must be my "super power" of "seeing and being able to understand multiple perspectives of the same idea / issue, " I know with 100% certainty that if I call an African-American the N-word, it is an insult. Not only is it not okay for a white person to use that word, it is an insult that drudges up years of heartache, grief, and anger. Of course, if I were African-American, I would be able to call fellow African-Americans the n-word. White man can't; black man can't. In the era of wanting to be treated equally and such, there appears to be a double standard. While I'm certain I could write about it, I haven't done sufficient research so it will not be composed today.

So, back to Hulk Hogan using the n-word, I see three reasons why I'm willing to give the Hulkster a tiny bit of slack. To summarize, he said this 1) in a private conversation, 2) recorded 8 years ago, and 3) it was the National Enquirer who broke the news makes me really sad. In reverse order, when I was growing up, the National Enquirer was a tabloid garbage publication. I believe the only reason for its existence today is that - to this day - it is placed near the checkout line of grocery stores with bloviated headlines about Elvis Presley being seen alive or UFO sightings. I hardly call those two examples headlines that belong in a "real" news publication. Second, the conversation was 8 years ago. I know that on Wednesday, August 01, 2007, I was a different person than I am now. I suspect that Hulk Hogan was a different person back then as well. How many people have been known as racists, only to at some point in their life see the error and evil in their thinking? Hulk Hogan's apology and public statements cannot change the past. So, yes, he said those things 8 years ago and I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt that he doesn't believe those words now. Third, this was a private conversation he was having about his daughter. That's a breach of trust and its sickening to me that a private conversation made public has caused the downfall of an icon.

In a similar vein, one of my all-time favorite comedians has been dragged through the mud after 43 women have now come forward with stories about how he first drugged and second sexually assaulted each woman. That's not the way I really want Bill Cosby to be remembered. I'd rather see him as Heathcliff Huxtable - America's favorite dad on "The Cosby Show" on Thursday nights at 7 PM. When I think about Bill Cosby now, though, I feel sickened. I, once again, "see all views of an issue" like this. Sexual assaulting a woman is never - EVER - okay. NEVER. In no way do I believe Bill Cosby acted like the icon husband and family man he portrayed on television. I'm sure I'm not the only person to see the irony. Over the years, Bill Cosby has been an outspoken critic of how African-American males have not treated women properly. He has been an outspoken critic of how rap music has made disrespecting women part of its appeal. He was an outspoken critic of Eddie Murphy - per one of his comedy concerts - for using the f-word and cursing as part of his routine. Going back even further, during his own standup act, he described not using curse words and "sounding like an idiot" because of self-censoring. Just with those examples alone, Bill Cosby could easily be seen as a hypocrite. All of that, plus the way his wife and his friends must feel now. In public and, certainly, in private, they have supported him, not believing the reports. Now, they've found out that he lied.

There was a time when I longed to be as well-known as Hulk Hogan and Bill Cosby. I fantasized about playing in a band that would tour the world. This fictional band would play a concert in Cedar Rapids and the crowd would chant my name "Han - Son! Han - Son!" and I would bask in the spotlight and smile. After reading about the downfall of Hogan and Cosby, I'm quite certain I am satisfied to work where I work, to be married to whom I am married, and to be the father to whom I am the father as opposed to the opposite, which would be to have your past mistakes in the spotlight.