Sobering Thoughts

It was not all that long ago that I decided I didn't want to drink booze. I'm not the only one that has made this choice. Rock guitarist icon Jimmy Page was recently quoted as saying, "I had to stop drinking a few years ago - otherwise I wouldn't have been here now. That was an intelligent decision. ... I still might make a fool of myself!"

I won't say that I quit drinking because I was making a fool of myself. I quit drinking because I was an asshole.

I didn't like being an asshole.

I found myself here, in the den, writing a dissertation in my personal journal about the choice I made earlier this morning. I wrote several pages on my journey to a realization. It's a simple bottom line.

When I drank booze, I didn't like the father, husband, and son I became. 


I know I was an asshole to all around me when I drank. As I have worked on being the best version of who I am on this earth, I work on finding a way to forgive myself. While I have learned that no matter what I want to change, I don't own a time machine. Some things cannot be undone, no matter how hard the deed is unwished.

Unwished? Really. I have wished for a lot of things over my 45+ years on this earth. Some wishes have come true. I met and then convinced the love of my life to marry me. She agreed to build a family with me. I remember wishing for healthy and happy kids. That has come true as well. Attending concerts with each of my children - Megan and I seeing Bayside in concert twice and Alex and I seeing Skillet in concert thrice - are merely bonuses.

As I said, this is the abstract.

Today is an anniversary of being sober. While it's not the typical number that is routinely celebrated, I am pleased I chose to quit drinking booze 4 years, 1 month, 3 weeks, 6 days ago. Today is a good day to celebrate.

I am sober. Yay me.