Cone Passing

I was talking to Dad last night and, in the midst of our conversation, he mentioned that he had run into Mark Cone's parents. I've known the Cone family for most of my life. Dating back to when we lived on Red Bud Road in Cedar Rapids, Mark Cone lived up at the top of the hill - I could point out the house if I were driving by. Down the street from the Cones were Jim & Sue - Sue stayed at home and was our in-her-home babysitter from birth to about 4th grade - and then there was our house, 3625 Red Bud Road. Mark Cone and I went to the same babysitter.

Mark was a year behind me in school and, to be brutally honest, I was never his friend. He was always kind of a peripheral type of person in that I knew him, I didn't especially like him, but we didn't interact in the way that I can sit here, writing this, and cite any specific incidents.

Mark Cone had cancer. He died on September 30, 2015. This is his obituary. While there are several aspects of his obituary I could comment upon, it's somewhat odd that this text resonates within me:
"... special visits in his Mississippi home from high school best friends, Derek Stepanek, Tal Knochenmus, Jeff Spencer..." After reading those names, I remembered that Mark was a part of that clique / group of guys that were a year younger than me. Derek & Tal played saxophone in band; Jeff played trumpet in band. It made me think about how precious friendships really are in life. It also made me think about how few authentic & genuine friends I have in my life. I can rattle off a list of names, many that I have wrote about and mentioned on this blog over the years, but of that list, I'm having a hard time being able to believe that any of them would travel from Iowa to Mississippi (where Mark lived) to visit me, even if I were dying from a hideous & terrible disease like cancer.

I've not had a drop of booze for 1757 days - 4 years, 9 months, 3 weeks, 2 days - but to realize where I really am in this world & to contemplate who, if any, of my "friends" would drive from Iowa to Mississippi to see me... that's the most sober thought I've ever had in my life. At the same time, I have to also believe that I should give my friends credit. If I were really facing my own mortality, I am hopeful that some of my friends that I don't think, today, would make that journey, would actually be the first ones in their vehicle to come see me.

The truth of the matter is that if I were to ask the friends I would put on my 'best friends' list today if they would make that journey for me, I'm sure all of them would say "yes, I would do that for you." As my life is an ever evolving journey, I am ending this blog post with the optimism that these friends would not lie to my face.