Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Looking for a Band and a War?

I stumbled upon the following posts on the Craigslist > Des Moines > Community > Musicians page and found the discussion amusing enough to post here, on my blog.

  1. $500.00 sign on bonus with 2 year contract............revised (WDM)
    • Looking for serious musicians to form a serious band. To be considered for an audition, please respond with a cover letter about yourself including your musical skills and experience. If you have a recording or video of your playing and or singing that will expedite the process. Musicians that play an instrument as well as having vocal capability are a definite plus. Open to males and females but please be over 30 to be considered. Need to be totally professional in appearance and manner. Not interested in dopers, drunks, or people with excess baggage or attitude. Music will vary just no current music, blues, jazz, metal, grunge or old style country. You will be expected to commit to the project and give 100% to the band. I am willing to put up my money for only the best, you have to be willing to give me your best. Lets hear from some serious musicians.
    • Note: Music will not be originals unless they are EXTREMELY GOOD. Covers will be some obscure bands from the past that did really good albums but limited if any play time. Music also of name bands but of times past or songs that didn't make the A list. All music will be of the high energy, toe tapping, and geared to attract the audience's attention. The music will move the audience as well as the members playing it. The band will be known for playing music very well and not for playing music that everyone else out there is doing or rather a questionable fact similarly. When people say they can't remember the last time they heard that song, then we know we are on target. Be sure to include your email address with your cover letter. Thank you one and all.
  2. Re: $500.00 sign on bonus with 2 year contract (Des Moines)
    • Do we get paid vacation too? Dental insurance? What a joke. Nobody's going to sign a 2 year contract to be in your cover band.
  3. Re: $500 sign on bonehead
    • I think it's hilarious how you think you know everything about me. Sorry, not even close. Say what you want about me, but at least I don't have to pay people to be in a band with me. When I first read your original ad, I thought it had to be a joke or satire, but then I thought "No, this guy is serious." You are a legit psychopath. Good luck playing "Sweet Home Alabama" to a bar full of drunks that don't give a shit.
  4. $500 Sign On Bonus
    • This isn't a slam on the guy offering the $500 sign on bonus. To each their own. My only issue is where are people still getting paid to play live music anymore that aren't dive bars? Live music is dead. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news here. People in their 20's and 30's don't want to watch a bunch of people twice their age play songs from the 60s, 70s, or 80's. The only thing that is going to get their attention are random songs from the 90's or current pop songs. And even then, they would rather dance to a DJ. I know it hurts the feelings of us musicians, but it might be time to hang it up. If you are down for lugging hundreds of pounds of equipment to the local watering hole to watch a lady in her 60's jam out to Mustang Sally, be my guest. But don't expect to get paid anything more then $100. That works out to like $2 an hour after you consider all the hours practicing, rehearsing, loading, unloading, and performing. And good luck thinking you're going to compete with a 20-something bride and her iTunes playlist at her wedding. Corporations don't higher classic rock bands. So, where are these elusive high paying gigs for bands playing B-sides?

I hope he finds what he is looking for through the ad. I didn't respond because I'm not interested in joining the band. Despite the $500 signing bonus, Des Moines is a little too far to be an efficient band member - it's less than ideal.

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