Brilliant!

The equivalent of The Onion for heavy music fans is MetalSucks.net which I have linked to elsewhere on this blog. The latest funny thing that they posted is this article: Clickbait Magazine Says These are the 25 Best Metal Albums of All Time. In case you don't want to leave this page to view their Top 25, here they are:

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25. Sunn O))) - Monoliths and Dimensions
24. Mayhem - De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas
23. Napalm Death - From Enslavement to Obliteration
22. Black Sabbath - The Eternal Idol
21. Mastodon - Crack the Skye
20. Tool - 10,000 Days
19. Slayer - God Hates Us All
18. Slipknot - All Hope is Gone
17. Ozzy Osbourne - Ozzmosis
16. In Flames - Soundtrack to Your Escape
15. Korn - Korn III: Remember Who You Are
14. Morbid Angel - Heretic
13. Suicide Silence - Suicide Silence
12. Megadeth - The System Has Failed
11. Iron Maiden - A Matter of Life and Death
10. Pantera - Reinventing the Steel
9. Lamb of God - Wrath
8. Judas Priest - Angel of Retribution
7. Damn Yankees - Don’t Tread
6. Mötley Crüe - New Tattoo
5. Anthrax - Stomp 442
4. Guns N’ Roses - “The Spaghetti Incident?”
3. Adema - Topple the Giants
2. Metallica - …And Justice for All
1. Jethro Tull - Crest of a Knave

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Just in case you aren't sure that it's meant to be interpreted as satire, there's this clue:

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The Grunge Gold Rush Followed the Hair Metal Gold Rush Part II

This post is a continuation of Part I.
The point is, that when the author of this article about the "Grunge Gold Rush" wrote "Mike Gitter, a punk-rock specialist who was starting out as an A&R man for major label Atlantic Records, home of hair-metal veterans White Lion, Ratt and Mr. Big", he is too dismissive of an entire movement. White Lion, Ratt, and Mr. Big came out in different parts of the 'hair-metal' movement. Ratt came first, then White Lion, then Mr. Big. In fact, with Mr. Big, I can't call that band "hair-metal" with a straight face. Read the WikiPedia article here.

Maybe I should have sat down and formulated an outline to my arguments in this post because I've rambled quite a bit, all because I read this article: The Grunge Gold Rush Is there a lesson here? January 12, 20186:38 AM ET Steve Knopper

Editor's Note: An article relevant to this post lists the Top 10 Metal Albums of 1988.

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10. Metallica, '...And Justice For All'
9. Napalm Death, 'From Enslavement to Obliteration'
8. Testament, 'The New Oder'
7. King Diamond, 'Them'
6. Danzig, 'Danzig'
5. Death, 'Leprosy'
4. Helloween, 'Keeper of the Seven Keys, Part II'
3. Iron Maiden, 'Seventh Son of a Seventh Son'
2. Slayer, 'South of Heaven'
1. Queensryche, 'Operation: Mindcrime'

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In general, #10, #2, and #1 belong on the list, but unable to make a credible judgement about the other 7. Unlike other Internet music writers, this blog's editor has self-control! Read the entire article here. Also worth noting is the fact that the following labels were created for this post:

• Napalm Death
• King Diamond
• Danzig
• Death

which means these 6 bands have been mentioned elsewhere on this blog:

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1. Metallica
2. Testament
3. Helloween
4. Iron Maiden
5. Slayer
6. Queensryche

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60% is a passing score!