Transistions

As I previously mentioned, we went up to UNI (Cedar Falls) for Megan's freshman orientation this past Thursday & Friday. Because there are so many things / events / emotions I could write about, I'm actually having a tough time writing this post. My mind keeps resetting priorities of possible topics. Do I write about meeting Chuck & Deeanna from Davenport first or about the seminar about the TEACH grant first? Do I write about seeing Megan's actual dorm room first or about the difficulty / drama with getting her classes? Do I write about the discussion with the dad and (presumably) grandma from Washington, IA, that I had as I waited in line to discuss financial aid or about Connor (a freshman, supposedly with a 15 year-old girlfriend) flirting uncontrollably with the senior at our dinner table?

While I'm unsure as to where this blog post will take me, I'll start with a simple fact. My oldest child, Megan, will be a freshman at UNI in the fall of 2015. I won't say what dorm she will live in, but I saw her dorm room, empty except for the lofts, desks, and chairs that come with it. Compared to what I lived in at Mount Mercy College, her dorm room is really tiny. That's okay, though, because my mind seems to think that means the move-in process will not be extensively intense. She moves in 3 days after her 19th birthday, on a Monday in August - 50 days away.

The number of days from her move-in day is not meant to indicate I am eagerly awaiting her departure from our house. It simply means that there are 50 days remaining of her being my little girl. David, a psychologist at the UNI counseling center, said that the son / daughter you drop off in the fall and pick up four years later is not going to be the same person. That made me pause a little to reflect upon my own college career. I wasn't the same person I was when I moved into the Regina dorm room on the Mount Mercy College campus in September 1988. Sure, I kept some character traits, like loving Metallica and loving to write. Other traits changed. For example, when I began college, I was very confident that I would never, ever, drink booze, but by early November, I partied with 2 liters of Strawberry Blush, a wine cooler made by Sun Country. Another example is that I was very confident that I would have a long career as a high school English teacher, but at some point during my student teaching, I had decided I did not want to spend 40 years as a teacher.

The thoughts I continually return to are that I have no idea what character traits Megan will retain, adjust, or adapt once she begins college. No one knows, including her! The unknowns in life will present themselves to her over the days and weeks and months and years. While some parents may fear the transition of their child from a caterpillar to a butterfly, I find it exhilarating and exciting. Will every aspect of Megan's college career be perfect? Absolutely not. I know there will be bumps and potholes. I also know that each bump will eventually be smoothed out and each pothole will eventually be filled with some substance that will make her a better person.

Missed It

My 25th high school class reunion was this last weekend; I didn't go. I had no desire to go whatsoever.

No PC for you

I wasn't really a Seinfeld fan. It was one of those shows that just never appealed to me. The previews never really looked funny and when I did sit down to watch it, I just didn't think it was as funny as, say, Cheers or Night Court. The only Seinfeld episode I can tell you about is when there was a Soup Nazi. People stood in line to get this guy's soup and if you didn't order correctly, he yelled, "No soup for you!". Then it turned out that Kramer bought a chest of drawers and in it was the Soup Nazi's secret recipe. The only reason I mention this is because I thought about signing on to the PC last night. Then I thought, "No PC for you!" so I didn't.

---

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the male therapist got up, walked around the desk, and after asking the wife to stand, embraced
and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?'
The husband thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.'

---

Metallica, Down, and the Sword played in Des Moines, IA, last night. I am glad I didn't take in that show. Their show on Saturday, November 8th, is going to kick butt, even if I have to buy a ticket. It's Metallica - how can it be bad? I am taking the kids to Dave and Chris in Blue Grass, IA (Karen's brother and wife) on that day and then taking an evening of METAL. My friend Kevin is going. I have been trying to get a hold of my contact @ WBR (their label) but the publicist I worked with to see Avenge Sevenfold / Buck Cherry / Shine Down /Saving Abel has an e-mail address that sends back delivery failures.

---

In other news, there were photos posted of the 20 year class reunion I didn't attend online. Seeing some of the people that were there makes me glad I didn't go. I think that there is something to be said for putting the past behind me.

---

This is my new favorite song. I found two videos of it. The first is a concert clip from St. Louis and the second shows a single picture but has the lyrics.

---

---

Phelps, Party on, and More HS stuff

Did you see Michael Phelps last night?!? He touched out the 2nd place swimmer by .01 of a second with his final push. It was amazing to watch. I am glad he didn't give up or think the race was over prior to it being over, which is what the 2nd place swimmer did. I am an ex-swimmer. I swam all four years in high school and my coach, Steve Shean, drilled it into our heads to finish the race. I also swam in a swim club called CRAA and the coach at the time, Scott Bonine, talked about finishing the race as well. It was interesting to see, in the race for the gold medal, that a swimmer that didn't push hard at the end could be beaten by the narrowest of margins. Now they're talking about protesting the result. I actually thought Phelps got 2nd. I think his mother did too. It wasn't until seeing the replay in slow motion that I concluded Phelps touched first. I'm glad he did and I'm proud that the Americans are doing so well in China.

The 100 butterfly was the only race I saw because I was at our neighborhood party last night. I fell asleep in front of the firepit and got sent to bed. Obviously, I was tired.

Prior to falling asleep, though, I talked to our neighbor Carrie. We talked about high school reunions. She talked about how, 20 years later, some people are still stuck in the cliques they were in high school. My neighbor Mark joined that conversation and talked about at his high school reunion, he saw the same thing. That conversation, and others I've had with my friends, make me think I made the right decision. Sure, I could have had fun. It would have been nice to see faces I haven't seen in 20 years. But it all gets shaken down to this. I am not who I was 20 years ago and to go back to that person:

• who didn't have the nerve to ask more girls out
• who didn't push harder in the aforementioned swim team practices and in the weight room
• who didn't do more than exist

That person is gone. There are traces of that person in what I say and do, but for the most part, that person is long gone. Going back to that person is a waste of time.

There. Now I am done talking about my high school reunion. Not going to talk about it anymore on this blog.

Not Hard Enough

I heard about my 20 year high school reunion in the paper. They're having a dinner/dance on a Saturday night in August. I don't plan to go because I will be on our annual college campout with 4 other couples and a bunch of kids. I don't have anything but regrets about high school. I didn't work hard enough academically. I got decent grades but I didn't attempt AP English even though I knew in high school I wanted to be an English teacher. I didn't work hard enough socially. I didn't have a lot of friends and I pretty much only dated one girl. I didn't work hard enough when I was out for the swim team. I improved year-to-year but I never, ever, gave myself the authority to go the next step. I never went more than 100% in practice. I didn't give when I had nothing to give. And, perhaps the one area I regret the most is that I didn't work hard enough to get into my high school's music scene. There was a guitarist and a bassist and a singer who needed me to play drums with them, but I never approached them. The guitarist and bassist eventually went out to form an original band I liked in 1993, but because I had never approached either of them with the idea of jamming or had never approached the school paper about writing for them, people didn't really know I was about music, which has become a lot of what I'm about these days.

So hearing about a high school reunion doesn't really trip my trigger. I'm not harboring animosity towards anyone I went to high school with. It's, well, I have grown since high school. I have, hopefully, matured into the father and husband I was meant to be. I mean, why do I want to go back and see people that still think of me as I was 20 years ago when I am so not that person? It doesn't make sense to me, when I think about it, to go back and surround myself with people - even if it is only for one night - that haven't really made an effort to stay in touch with me. I can count on two fingers - and these two know who they are - the number of friends that I have remained close with over the last 20 years. These two were in my wedding ~15 years ago and I know that I can call them anytime I need them and, hopefully, they know the inverse is true as well. So for the other 440 people in my class... I hope you all have a great time.