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Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts

Friday, November 22, 2019

Facing Your Fear

From 2016

This story - Mom’s BRILLIANT Excuse Note For Tardy Teen Daughter Goes Viral Emmanuel Emmanuel - has a published date of November 16, 2019. However, the BRILLIANT excuse note has a date of 9/16/2016, which was 1156 days (3 years, 2 months) from the published date.

Regardless, it is a funny note and I give extra credit for using the word "multitudinous" in her note.



Thursday, October 24, 2019

No Personal Experience

I did not sneak out when I lived with my parents.

Alex and Megan did not sneak out when they were 17.

That said, I like this Quora thread:


Friday, October 18, 2019

My Newborn Son's Name is . . .

In an alternate reality, I didn't go to Mount Mercy College in the fall of 1988. Instead, I went to the University of Iowa. I would still be Catholic and go to the Newman Center. I would live in an apartment above Gabes and immerse myself into the Iowa City music scene. I would learn to love Slayer almost immediately so that when Megadeth / Slayer / Anthrax / Alice in Chains played the US Cellular Center in Cedar Rapids in summer 1991, I would be there, thrashing around in the mosh pit. I would have hair down to my ass because playing drums in countless bands would barely cover my rent. Then, someday, I would find a woman and have a son. We would name him Slayer because in that alternate reality, I would be the idiot described in the following tweet:

Try not to giggle when imagining the wedding vows for that alternate reality son because you know with a name like Slayer he would have to be the most-Christian man alive to combat the blatant non-Christian values proclaimed by the band. Hearing "I Slayer take you ... to be my wife..." in a Catholic church? Awesome sauce!

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Removing Certain Elements of the Past

http://loudwire.com/senses-fail-from-the-depths-of-dreams-lyrics-re-release/

I get this idea to remove vulgarity from a tune so that the children of the members of the band don't associate vulgarity with their parent. It's really a thing that band members are dealing with. I have heard James Hetfield talk about not swearing onstage due to the idea that parents are now bringing their kids to their shows. I can validate the idea that I didn't take Alex to a Metallica concert about 10 years ago because Hetfield was routinely cursing from the stage and exposing Alex to that,  at the age of 10, was the reason.

For me,  I endorse the idea of a band re-recording their tunes without vulgarity.  That said,  I wonder why they didn't just overdub the vocals, especially if the song structure is not going to change - might have been a faster process (says the drummer who has never even been in a recording studio in his life.)

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Parenting

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/americans-would-do-anything-to-make-their-kids-smarter-except-edit-their-genes_us_5b596568e4b0b15aba951b32

Friday, December 15, 2017

Trauma for the Kids

I don't tend to write a lot about what my kids are going through in life - I tend to use my private journal for pondering those thoughts but today, I want to capture how something that impacted me has really impacted the kids as well, specifically Alex.

I left work yesterday so I could be home when the kids got home from UNI for Christmas break. I had bad news to tell them - that their grandma, and my Favorite Mother-in-Law, was in surgery at UIHC. We had made the decision to not tell them about this because they had finals Monday - Thursday and we wanted them to concentrate on their academics. It was a decision we made about a month ago and pretty much each day, either I or Karen pondered whether it was the right decision. We struggled with the idea of 'hiding' information from the kids and whether we, as kids, would want to know what was happening and, if we did know and we were in their shoes, with finals, would we be able to concentrate on our studying and test prep or would we be sucked into worrying and fretting about the surgery. Ultimately, we feel we made the right choice but I just wanted to document it wasn't an easy choice.

Fast forward to yesterday and I am home when the kids get home. Megan noticed that both cars were in the garage - Karen & my father-in-law had taken his car to UIHC & I had taken the 2005 GMC Canyon to work so that meant both the 2016 Chevy Equinox & the 2007 Ford F-150 were in the garage. She immediately questioned why we were both home. I said, "I need to talk to you both." There was a panic in Megan's voice as she told Alex to get inside because "Dad has to talk to us." When Alex came in to the kitchen, he had kind of a pale look on his face - I could tell he knew something was wrong because there I was, at home at 1:45ish PM, when I am usually at work.

I can't remember each and every word I said to them as I told them about the surgery. It was very difficult to tell them. I would never wish having to tell your children what I told mine on anyone.


Eventually, we had Megan's car unloaded and were in route, in the 2005 GMC Canyon, to UIHC. It was my job to drop them off at UIHC because I had to go back to work for a meeting about my disaster recovery documentation with my manager's manager and other Senior Directors in my department. The meeting I needed to attend is an important meeting. It is scheduled to be once a month, but it had been canceled the last 3 months (September, October, & November) so with the December meeting not cancelled, I felt it was critically important for me to be present to provide an update because - make no mistake - it's my meeting to report to upper management on a monthly basis about how my work has been progressing. I have never really had a monthly status meeting with senior leadership at any other time in my career as a technical writer. I fully realize how valuable it is to have their collective ear.

I wrote all of the above to set up the following revelation: why Alex thought I was home when they got home. He thought it was because I had been laid off from work. I know that being told the Unnamed Hellhole in southern Iowa and I were going to part ways in April 2011 and then that being told Pearson had eliminated my position in January 2016 wasn't easy for me. Call me selfish, but until Alex told me that was his first thought, I never realized that what had happened to me had made a very strong impression upon him.

As for how my Favorite Mother-in-Law is doing, she made it through her surgery. She seemed in good spirits when I talked to her in her hospital room, which was shortly before I drove my father-in-law & the kids home. Karen was going to stay with her at UIHC while the rest of Karen's family was going to be returning to Dubuque or Blue Grass. Only my brother-in-law Mark from Cedar Falls stayed at our house, mainly because they are doing renovations to their house in Cedar Falls and the workers come early (7 AM) so he knew he would get more sleep at my house than if he drove 1.5 hours back to Cedar Falls and then was awakened to the workers at 7 AM. We didn't get back to my house until after 11 PM.

And yet, there I was, leaving the house at 6:10 AM today. I told the kids I didn't care who did what, but the dishwasher needed to be emptied and the clean clothes in the laundry room needed to be put away - most of them are either mine or Karen's but since I was sleeping in our bed, I couldn't really put them on our bed and not expect a mess in the morning. It felt funny (to me) to tell my two college student children that they had tasks they have done for many years assigned to them. It was why I think coming home was a cause of trauma for the kids - being assigned chores by their parent when they are in college.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Drudging Up the Drums and Pizza Incident from 1990

To this day, I have never spoken to my father about the incident I describe in this post, but I thought about the incident described below this morning when I read the First Read from NBC News newsletter in my inbox.

To set context for the actual incident, I need to explain that I was a spoiled brat in college. I admit this freely - now - but at the time, I probably resisted the idea more than I should have. What happened was that when I was a sophomore in college, I was grounded for eating leftover pizza. I found this leftover pizza in my parent's refrigerator. But that wasn't my only crime. I had played my drums in their basement as well. Because I was a spoiled brat, I didn't have to pay for any of my college tuition. I also lived in a dorm room that was about a 10 minute drive from my parent's house - where my father still lives to this day. I had a routine that worked great for me. Except for socks and underwear, my mommy washed my clothes. I brought it home on a Monday or Tuesday and picked up my clean clothes on a Wednesday or Thursday. Since my Ludwig Vistalite drums were set up in the basement of my parent's house, I made it a point to either drop off or pick up my laundry when I knew I had at least a few minutes to sit down behind them and play. As I said, I was spoiled.

So, in that context, in the spring semester of 1990, I went to my parent's house to either drop off or pick up my laundry. I played drums for a bit and then realized I was hungry. I went upstairs and looked in the refrigerator. There was leftover frozen pizza. It looked good so I ate it. Then I went back up to my dorm. Early the next morning, my father called me. The only details I remember about that phone conversation are that I was in trouble and I needed to be home by 4:00 that day. During that conversation, I didn't think about or mention that I actually had a class until 4:00. After that class, I drove home - it was about a 10 minute drive from dorm to home. I remember that as I turned the door handle to walk into the house, I heard my father say, "I told him to be home by 4:00."

The gist of the situation was that my brother had gotten in trouble for something - I don't even remember for what - and as he was getting reprimanded, he threw me under the bus by defending his actions by stating that I had been home playing drums and eating pizza. The "eating pizza" phrase is what had made my father upset with me. In an emotional tone of voice, he pointed out that he was already paying for me to eat up in the college cafeteria and that if I was then coming home and eating, it was like throwing money out the window. As he made that point, he got up from his chair, opened our sliding glass back door, opened up his wallet, extracted some dollars, and threw them out the window.

Because of this episode, eating leftover frozen pizza, I was grounded from using the car I was driving at the time. At the end of our conversation, I began to walk back up to college. I had a class at 5:20 and when I started walking, it was around 5:00. After a few yards of walking, I realized I would never be able to walk back to my dorm and still make it to class so I turned around and asked if I could have a ride back up to school because I had class.

My father got up and we drove up to my dorm. It was on Glass Road, going down the big hill by the Northwood Apartments, when I mustered up the nerve to speak. I told my father that it didn't do any good to yell at me. Without hardly any pause, he replied, "When I don't, you don't listen." Every time I am in Cedar Rapids and drive down that hill, I think about that conversation and his words to me that day.

All of this is to provide context for the latest development in politics. It is relevant because adults are acting like my brother did when he was being reprimanded. Instead of taking responsibility for his actions, he pointed at me and said, "What about what he did? Why am I the only one getting in trouble?" In my First Read from NBC News newsletter, I read this:

Two wrongs don't make a right
The two big political stories over the past week -- Hillary's emails and that Iran letter -- have led to partisans saying, "Well, the other side does it, too!!!" as one of us recently noted in a Facebook post. Case in point: Hillary Clinton's defenders have argued that Jeb Bush has his own private server, and that Scott Walker had his own email system in Wisconsin. But do those practices mean that Clinton's personal email use is OK? The other example: Republicans contend that the GOP's letter to Iran's leaders is justified because Nancy Pelosi went to Syria in 2007, and because ex-Rep. David Bonior went to Baghdad in 2002 to protest in the impending Iraq war. But when did two wrongs make a right? If you criticized said behavior in the past, you can't turn around and use it to justify your current behavior. It's no wonder that 90% of the country thinks Washington is looking out for its own partisan interest.

While it's too early to describe how the political turmoil is going to play out, the epilogue to being grounded for eating pizza is that on Friday of that week, there was a message from my father on my answering machine. As I've described previously, I had an answering machine that used a cassette and I routinely dubbed my messages onto a separate cassette for preservation so if I were to find the cassette in my boxes of cassettes and listen to it, I would hear my father say that my car was up in the parking lot of the Hennessy building and that I could do with it what I want. The next message was from my mother who wanted to be sure that I had gotten the message about my car from my father and wondered if I could call to confirm that I had. I sometimes wonder what the conversation between my parents was like immediately preceding my father calling and leaving that message. As I said at the beginning of this post, I've never asked. I don't think it really matters.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Hodge Podge

On the agenda tonight, cleaning out my Hotmail inbox...

  1. The sad fact is that I'm turning 40 on 12/4/69. No tears, please. Karen threw me a great party last year and totally surprised me.
    However, if you *still* want to buy me a present, pick up this for me.
    Mouse
    I'M KIDDING!! DON'T BUY ME A DAMN THING....
    I just wanted to have a clever (?) way of introducing the hodge podge of ideas that are going to be in this post. Rather than have a series of small insignificant posts, I'm going for one longer insignificant post.
  2. I can't say enough about this blog post as something parents should really read.
  3. I listened to Machines of Grace a lot today. I tried to find a youtube video but couldn't. I like their groove.
  4. This is not exactly what we are going to be looking at in the near future, but I think it's pretty close. The pictures are of a camper that we like, sight unseen. We are trying to figure out a time to make it up to Ketelsen's RV to look at it. I'm not committing to its purchase, but by the pictures, I admit I like what I see. It's not parked next to my house yet. Don't hold your breath.
  5. I subscribe to Jared Spool's UIEtips newsletter. In the issue that arrived in my Inbox today, there is a very relevant to online Help article about breaking up large documents for the web. In the article, it talks about thinking about the content as "topics" not books. You can read this article on this web site.
  6. Vincent Latella, a frequent Techwr-L poster, sent this to the list today: "I know that we've been through the whole "do you really need a printed manual" thing before on TECHWR-L, but at this very moment, presumably non-writer types are hashing out that very topic as it pertains to automobiles on The Truth About Cars.
    Reading comments on the topic from random individuals (instead of technical writers) is interesting, I think, so I thought I'd share. ...
    The basic gist of it is this: Chrysler is apparently replacing its owners' manuals with DVDs and abridged printed guides, and there's a blog post about it. The poster indicates that he wants one "in the glovebox, in paper form, ready to go." The people posting comments seem divided. Click here to read the comments.
  7. Shadows Fall play two nights in Maplewood, MN, on their current tour and skip Iowa altogether?
    9/28 Colorado Springs, CO @ The Black Sheep
    9/30 Omaha, NE @ Sokol Auditorium
    10/1 Maplewood, MN @ The Rock
    10/2 Maplewood, MN @ The Rock
    10/3 Chicago, IL @ V Live
    It doesn't really matter as if they played in Iowa on 10/1, that may be the only night we have free to look @ the camper in #6. 10/2 is my brother-in-law's band in Cedar Falls. The next morning, I have a CEW meeting in Waterloo so it really doesn't fit into the schedule.
  8. Don't really know much about this site but it looks interesting: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/
  9. Five Finger Death Punch have a new CD and I like it a lot. This is the current single.
  10. Kind of related, Five Finger Death Punch has OTEP opening for them on these dates. There had better be a second leg of this tour that includes Iowa...
    Sep 22, 2009 San Francisco, CA, US @ the Regency Center
    Sep 23, 2009 Fresno, CA, US @ Crest Theater
    Sep 24, 2009 Pomona, CA, US @ The Glass House
    Sep 26, 2009 Phoenix, AZ, US @ KUPD's End of Summer Scorcher
    Sep 27, 2009 Albuquerque, NM, US @ Sunshine Theater
    Sep 28, 2009 Colorado Springs, CO, US @ Black Sheep
    Sep 30, 2009 Omaha, NE, US @ Sokol Auditorium
    Oct 1, 2009 Minneapolis, MN, US @ The Rock
    Oct 3, 2009 Chicago, IL, US @ Club V
    Oct 5, 2009 Toronto, ON, ON, CA @ Opera House
    Oct 6, 2009 Clifton Park, NY, US @ Northern Lights
    Oct 10, 2009 Hartford, CT, US @ Webster Theater
    Oct 11, 2009 Sayreville, NJ, US @ Starland Ballroom
    Oct 13, 2009 Philadelphia, PA, US @ TLA
    Oct 15, 2009 Pontiac, MI, US @ Crofoot Ballroom
    Oct 16, 2009 Madison, WI, US @ Orpheum Theater
    Oct 17, 2009 Grand Rapids, MI, US @ Orbit Room
    Oct 18, 2009 Louisville, KY, US @ Expo Five
    Oct 20, 2009 San Antonio, TX, US @ Sunset Station
    Oct 21, 2009 Lubbock, TX, US @ The Pavilion
    Oct 23, 2009 Little Rock, AR, US @ The Village
    Oct 25, 2009 Sauget, IL, US @ Pop's
    Oct 26, 2009 Oklahoma City, OK, US @ Diamond Ballroom
    Oct 28, 2009 Denver, CO @ Fillmore Auditorium
    Oct 30, 2009 Magna, UT @ The Great Salt Air
    Oct 31, 2009 Boise, ID, US @ Knitting Factory
    Nov 1, 2009 Spokane, WA, US @ Knitting Factory
  11. Back to work-related stuff:
    Dilbert.com
  12. I don't do anything with SEO - maybe I should? - but it seems like an interesting topic. Google does not read keyword metatags: http://googlewebmastercentral.blogspot.com/2009/09/google-does-not-use-keywords-meta-tag.html
  13. Time Magazine now confirms: "Under the Baucus plan, like the House plan, certain individuals would get government subsidies to help buy private insurance in a publicly-established exchanges. There would be a guaranteed choice in each health insurance exchange between at least one plan that does not offer abortion services beyond rape, incest and the life of the mother, and at least one plan that does, allowing consumers to choose their preference."
    Great.
  14. Can't let this post end with the negativity of federally-funded abortions. Beware the colorful language in this song...