Showing posts with label journalitis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journalitis. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 23, 2023
I Like Looking at 200 Page College-Ruled Spiral Notebooks
I haven't wrote about writing in my journal lately, but I continue to do so. I am currently writing in Volume 5, section IV, page 44, which is exactly half-way through the 88 pages in the section. The date range assigned to this section is 8-14-2023 --> 8-31-2023. For the 10 Year Project that began on 1-1-2012 and ended on 12-31-2021, I had a schedule written out with each month assigned to a section in an Excel file with a cell for each month. I began a second 10 year project on 1-1-2022 (which ends on 12-31-2031) but I have not created a schedule for this current 10 year project. I do have several empty 200 Page College-Ruled Spiral Notebooks in the closet in the den for this project in the basement of the house.
Wednesday, January 18, 2023
Starting the 200 Days Countdown today
I am going to present a brief overview of my 200 Days project.
On Monday, January 18, 1993, I started to write in a black 200 page college ruled notebook to count down to our wedding day. I was living in the house I grew up in and I was so anxious to marry Karen. I decided to write that volume because I knew my life was in a phase that would never be repeated in my future and I wanted to capture what I was feeling. I decided that I wasn't going to expect any words to be added to my 200
Days notebook on our actual wedding day so I decided that I would use
August 6, 1993, as the final day on which I would write, a decision I
have carried forward with each 200 Days volume. I also decided that I would create a list of 200 topics and assign a topic to each page. I would write a single front of a page about the topic. Many of the pages in the first volume have a couple of sentences to indicate that the topic was irrelevant or that the topic didn't merit writing any words. I wrote about Karen (of course), my friends, my family, my job, and relevant news of the day.
It so happened that the first night I began writing about the countdown to beginning a new chapter in my life was also the day that Chris Street, a basketball player at the U of Iowa, was killed in a car crash. It was also in January 1993 when Metallica came to Carver-Hawkeye Arena and played a concert, which I attended.
On Tuesday, January 18, 1994, I started to write in a red 200 page college ruled notebook to count down to our first wedding anniversary. I was living in the apartment in Coralville that Karen had been living in prior to marrying me and I wanted to capture the magic of writing the first 200 Days volume again.
On Wednesday, January 18, 1995, I started to write in a blue 200 page college ruled notebook to count down to our second wedding anniversary. A lot of changes were happening in life, such as we had purchased a house in North Liberty and no longer were living in the apartment in Coralville. Once again, I wanted to capture the magic of the previous two volumes. However, I realized during the writing of that volume, I was not actually recapturing anything from the previous two volumes. It was a burden to maintain a schedule that allowed me to write a 200 Days volume, a personal journal, and what would turn out to be my final spiral notebook of lyrics and poems.
Which is why it wasn't until Friday, January 18, 2013, before I attempted to write a 200 Days volume to document the countdown to our 20th wedding anniversary. So many changes in my life had happened in the 6375 days (17 years, 5 months, 1 week, 5 days) since I finished the third volume on Sunday, August 6, 1995, that I felt like the time was right to attempt another 200 Days volume.
When Thursday, January 18, 2018, arrived, I felt like writing another 200 Days volume to document the countdown to our 25th wedding anniversary made sense. Once again, there had been so many changes during the 1626 days (4 years, 5 months, 1 week, 5 days) between Tuesday, August 6, 2013 and Thursday, January 18, 2018.
All of that leads me to Wednesday, January 18, 2023, and the first day of yet another 200 Days volume. In a short 200 days (6 months, 2 weeks, 5 days), it will be Sunday, August 6, 2023, which is the night before being married to Karen for 30 years. I am going to temporarily not follow the guidelines of my 10 Year Project, which is how I have been writing my journals since January 1, 2012. I assign a month and year to each of the 5 sections in a 200 page notebook. For example, I could have a month of writing from 5 different years in the same 200 page notebook, meaning my journal writing is not done sequentially, which is what I did from May 1989 through December 31, 2011. My intention is to write this 200 Days volume as a part of the 10 Year Project, except I started a 200 page notebook today and I am going to write sequentially in as many 200 page notebooks as I need until August 6, 2023.
I am uncertain how often I will mention this 200 Days volume on this blog. However, since it is the first day of this volume, I felt it was relevant to write about what is happening outside of writing this blog.
Wednesday, December 7, 2022
The Case Against a Digital Journal
I have mentioned I have been keeping a journal since May 1989. I use my journal to record my thoughts and ideas and I use spiral notebooks to do this. I do not keep a digital journal - unless you count this blog - and, to be perfectly honest, I don't consider this blog to be my journal. I write about topics that are important to me but I definitely save my personal thoughts and ideas for a spiral notebook. I have flirted with making this blog more personal, but ultimately, no, that's not the purpose of this blog. I plan to keep a spiral notebook as my journal indefinitely. This article - Why writing by hand is still the best way to retain information - Typing might be faster, but longhand stays with you better. - makes the point that writing with a pen or pencil means retention is more likely. I agree with that.
Wednesday, September 23, 2020
23100 pages about ME by ME - Evidence I am a Selfish Man
I know that I am a selfish person. I know that about my personality. I know that I think about me a lot because I have 23100 pages across 103 physical notebooks.
Friday, November 9, 2018
Thursday, September 27, 2018
I Like BK Even More
At Quintrex, each year, each employee could have a calendar, which I took advantage of so, after working there a number of years, I have a pile of calendars. I don't have an inventory of what years I have or how many, but I know exactly where they are located in the den. I like to look back at them, especially when I would keep very careful documentation about events that I needed to attend as well as other events. In more recent years, I would add references to concerts taking place on specific dates.
Judge Brett Kavanaugh released his calendar from 1982 the other day, which is displayed below. I love it. Absolutely LOVE IT! Why? It reinforces the notion I have to never throw away any of the calendars in the aforementioned pile. Not because I am going to be nominated to be a Justice on the Supreme Court or anything like that but because it documents my life in a way that only words in a journal or pictures in a photo album cannot.
As a side note, I don't want anyone - not family or friends or strangers - to read any of my journals. I think that since I have endured my journalitis in solitude and in private, the audience for my journals is me and NO ONE ELSE!!! In fact, I need to write up a document that says what I want done with my stuff. I think, at my wake & funeral, if you come, you should leave with a spindle of CDs. Given that there are 51 spindles - and close to 400 more CDs to be converted - I hope I have at least 55 people show up to my wake & funeral.
I digress. Here's BK's 1982 calendar, which I learned about on this page: https://www.westernjournal.com/kavanaugh-detailed-calendar-summer
Judge Brett Kavanaugh released his calendar from 1982 the other day, which is displayed below. I love it. Absolutely LOVE IT! Why? It reinforces the notion I have to never throw away any of the calendars in the aforementioned pile. Not because I am going to be nominated to be a Justice on the Supreme Court or anything like that but because it documents my life in a way that only words in a journal or pictures in a photo album cannot.
As a side note, I don't want anyone - not family or friends or strangers - to read any of my journals. I think that since I have endured my journalitis in solitude and in private, the audience for my journals is me and NO ONE ELSE!!! In fact, I need to write up a document that says what I want done with my stuff. I think, at my wake & funeral, if you come, you should leave with a spindle of CDs. Given that there are 51 spindles - and close to 400 more CDs to be converted - I hope I have at least 55 people show up to my wake & funeral.
I digress. Here's BK's 1982 calendar, which I learned about on this page: https://www.westernjournal.com/kavanaugh-detailed-calendar-summer
Kavanaugh.summer.1982.Calen... by on Scribd
Friday, August 11, 2017
About Being Unforgiven and an Update about my Journalitis
no No NO - I have never cheated on my wife and no No NO - I never will!
But I know husbands who have cheated on their wives and I know wives that have cheated on their husbands. All of that to say, damn! I can't imagine the pain of what this guy on Quora has been going through since his wife passed away!
One other comment about this subject. I attended a Bible study a couple of years ago about the Book of James. One of the most powerful things I heard during these weekly sessions is when the father-in-law of one of my friends talked about cheating on a spouse. He said, paraphrased, that he couldn't imagine what the conversation with God would be like - to have to tell God in your prayers what the cheating spouse had done and to ask for forgiveness from God for that sin. In the years since I heard him say that, I've often pondered if the men and women - my friends - woke up on the morning they cheated on their spouse and knew they were going to cheat or if it was a spur of the moment / heat of the passion decision. I have never asked them and I can't say I would ever bring it up in conversation with them.
It is something I sometimes write about in my private journal, though, which you will never read. I am currently writing in Volume 19, section IV, which was originally scheduled for 10/2018. Through excessive writing, I'm over a year ahead of my pre-planned schedule. The other month / years in this volume are as follows:
Editor's Note: This is the link to the Quora article: https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-revenge-against-a-cheating-husband-and-his-mistress
But I know husbands who have cheated on their wives and I know wives that have cheated on their husbands. All of that to say, damn! I can't imagine the pain of what this guy on Quora has been going through since his wife passed away!
One other comment about this subject. I attended a Bible study a couple of years ago about the Book of James. One of the most powerful things I heard during these weekly sessions is when the father-in-law of one of my friends talked about cheating on a spouse. He said, paraphrased, that he couldn't imagine what the conversation with God would be like - to have to tell God in your prayers what the cheating spouse had done and to ask for forgiveness from God for that sin. In the years since I heard him say that, I've often pondered if the men and women - my friends - woke up on the morning they cheated on their spouse and knew they were going to cheat or if it was a spur of the moment / heat of the passion decision. I have never asked them and I can't say I would ever bring it up in conversation with them.
It is something I sometimes write about in my private journal, though, which you will never read. I am currently writing in Volume 19, section IV, which was originally scheduled for 10/2018. Through excessive writing, I'm over a year ahead of my pre-planned schedule. The other month / years in this volume are as follows:
- Section I: 06/2020
- Section II: 10/2019
- Section III: 02/2021
- Section IV: 08/2017 ---------- I just mentioned this above
- Section V: 11/2012 ---------- only previously used volume in this notebook
Editor's Note: This is the link to the Quora article: https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-revenge-against-a-cheating-husband-and-his-mistress
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Software Patch and My Sickness Diagnosis
I think about Mom and my future when I read articles about memory retention like this one: http://time.com/4304589/memory-picture-draw/ because I've realized that I retain memories because of my sickness. My self-diagnosis is that I have Journalitis (tm). is the compelling fear of not writing about life in a journal. A journal can be a blog, a fancy journal I see at Target - they don't have enough pages for me - or a 200 page college-ruled spiral notebook (my preference). The end result is simply a collection of memories.
On this blog, I have composed details about my 10 year, 24 x 200 page notebook project. As a brief refresher, I began this project on 1/1/2012 and will finish this project on 12/31/2021. Though I have not begun planning (or purchasing notebooks for it), it has crossed my mind to undertake a second 10 year project, which would begin on 1/1/2021 and finish on 12/31/2030 and then a third project to begin on 1/1/2031 and finish on 12/31/2040. I would be 71 years, 3 weeks, 6 days when that third project ended. On top of that, I would have 72 200 page college-ruled notebooks and at least 14400 pages if I only count the front of the page. If I count the back as well, it becomes 28,800 pages. The cure for Journalitis is purchased with death.
Until my death, I must write.
Until my death, I cannot NOT write.
Until my death, I must fill notebooks upon notebooks with my words.
If I don't, I am discombobulated and distressed.
I rely on the ability to write, the assembling and mechanic action of seeing the image in my head on paper or on a screen. Perhaps I have replaced booze with writing as a coping mechanism for the trials of life.
All of this is being dredged up because I have zero doubt I am very much like Mom. She was a writer. I sometimes have wondered if she kept a journal. If so, I haven't found it. It would not surprise me to find her journal, tucked away in the house I grew up in and that Dad still lives in. Many of the words I wrote in high school papers that earned a good grade can be attributed to her editing. She helped me with so many assignments, crossing out words, rephrasing sentences, and adding new thoughts for me to flesh out my thesis. Later in life, Mom's dementia was difficult for me to watch. As I have mentioned, Mom spent 40 years in the Cedar Rapids education system, teaching kids to communicate and in her final years, she couldn't. I openly admit that it is my fear of forgetting that motivates me to feed my Journalitis with continuous writing. I fear forgetting the memories I write about before I die.
In fact, if pressed, it's my worst fear. It's a fear greater than spending the last years of my life without Karen. It's a fear best described as that I will spend my final years in a locked dementia unit. Being a lot like Mom scares me. She had to be in one because she walked out of the first facility she was in and was unable to return. The second and third facilities required entering a code to enter the part of the building where she had her bed and dresser. Many pages in my journal are rich with descriptive essays about the parallels between where she lived and a prison.
As far as whether or not she has a journal tucked away, it would be very interesting to me to understand her motivation for doing and saying what she did when she was alive. I suppose the motivation for doing and saying what I say could be tied to the journals I keep. Now that I wrote that sentence, I'm thinking about its validity. After I'm dead, maybe my kids will read what I wrote and realize that the sum of my actions and words in my journals is far greater than the sum of what I did and said. The lesson I hope to teach is that some ideas are best left on a college-ruled piece of notebook paper in a bookshelf in a den with 23 other notebooks surrounding it.
On this blog, I have composed details about my 10 year, 24 x 200 page notebook project. As a brief refresher, I began this project on 1/1/2012 and will finish this project on 12/31/2021. Though I have not begun planning (or purchasing notebooks for it), it has crossed my mind to undertake a second 10 year project, which would begin on 1/1/2021 and finish on 12/31/2030 and then a third project to begin on 1/1/2031 and finish on 12/31/2040. I would be 71 years, 3 weeks, 6 days when that third project ended. On top of that, I would have 72 200 page college-ruled notebooks and at least 14400 pages if I only count the front of the page. If I count the back as well, it becomes 28,800 pages. The cure for Journalitis is purchased with death.
Until my death, I must write.
Until my death, I cannot NOT write.
Until my death, I must fill notebooks upon notebooks with my words.
If I don't, I am discombobulated and distressed.
I rely on the ability to write, the assembling and mechanic action of seeing the image in my head on paper or on a screen. Perhaps I have replaced booze with writing as a coping mechanism for the trials of life.
All of this is being dredged up because I have zero doubt I am very much like Mom. She was a writer. I sometimes have wondered if she kept a journal. If so, I haven't found it. It would not surprise me to find her journal, tucked away in the house I grew up in and that Dad still lives in. Many of the words I wrote in high school papers that earned a good grade can be attributed to her editing. She helped me with so many assignments, crossing out words, rephrasing sentences, and adding new thoughts for me to flesh out my thesis. Later in life, Mom's dementia was difficult for me to watch. As I have mentioned, Mom spent 40 years in the Cedar Rapids education system, teaching kids to communicate and in her final years, she couldn't. I openly admit that it is my fear of forgetting that motivates me to feed my Journalitis with continuous writing. I fear forgetting the memories I write about before I die.
In fact, if pressed, it's my worst fear. It's a fear greater than spending the last years of my life without Karen. It's a fear best described as that I will spend my final years in a locked dementia unit. Being a lot like Mom scares me. She had to be in one because she walked out of the first facility she was in and was unable to return. The second and third facilities required entering a code to enter the part of the building where she had her bed and dresser. Many pages in my journal are rich with descriptive essays about the parallels between where she lived and a prison.
As far as whether or not she has a journal tucked away, it would be very interesting to me to understand her motivation for doing and saying what she did when she was alive. I suppose the motivation for doing and saying what I say could be tied to the journals I keep. Now that I wrote that sentence, I'm thinking about its validity. After I'm dead, maybe my kids will read what I wrote and realize that the sum of my actions and words in my journals is far greater than the sum of what I did and said. The lesson I hope to teach is that some ideas are best left on a college-ruled piece of notebook paper in a bookshelf in a den with 23 other notebooks surrounding it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)