Parents

Why So Many Grown Kids Are Cutting Off Their Fathers
https://www.dailywire.com/news/why-so-many-grown-kids-are-cutting-off-their-fathers

Heart serves up Hot Hits for Hot 4th of July 2012 Celebration

This is a concert review from when my family and I were in Saint Louis on July 4, 2012, and Heart was performing under the Arch. They started their set with "Magic Man" and while I like that tune, it is a terrible set opener - it is too slow to get a crowd excited and pumped up. Needless to say, the other 3 in my family weren't impressed and so while I can say that I've seen Heart in concert, it was only for a single tune. https://www.heart-music.com/news/heart_serves_up_hot_hits_for_hot_4th_of_july_celebration__by_sean_derrick

Predictions for 2027

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I hope my life isn't always how it is. In some areas, I am very happy -

• this list is NOT in order
1. I play drums in Bad Rumor. Bad Rumor has the following dates on our schedule:
1. Saturday, April 18, 2026, at Danny's on Donald in Waterloo, IA
2. Saturday, June 6, 2026, in Higbee, MO -- I am not playing this gig
3. Friday, June 26, 2026, at The Jobsite in Iowa City, IA
4. Sunday, June 28, 2026, at The House Divided in Ely, IA
5. Friday, July 17, 2026, at The Shack in Cedar Rapids, IA
6. Friday, August 21, 2026, at The Shack in Cedar Rapids, IA
2. I am the IT Manager - Disaster Recovery at work. I had a meeting on Friday, April 2, 2026, and know more than I will say "now" about my job.
3. I am married to Karen and 8-7-2027 is our 34th wedding anniversary.
4. I have two kids:
• Megan, my daughter, turns 30 on 8-14-2026
• Alex, my son, turns 28 on 10-22-2026
• Alex is married to Hannah
• Alex and Hannah have Wilson, the Austrailian Shepherd
5. My father lives in the Solon Senior Living Center and turns 89 on 4-25-2026.
6. I'm looking forward to a lot of things in life.

While other areas, I am very sad.

1. There are unresolved conflicts in my family and I feel powerless to effect change.
2. My father is unhappy that I am working on selling the house in CR and thinks he should be able to live there alone - he cannot do so.
3. Various little things not worth mentioning in public...

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Help Me Understand

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She turned 60 and is going to step back to spend more time with her kids... who go to school... during the day... because the kids are above the age of 4, so at this point, I am unsure what is the purpose for this. It seems to me that now is actually when it makes sense to be working during the day... because the kids are not home. I am confused... https://www.dailywire.com/news/today-show-host-announces-shes-leaving-to-focus-on-raising-her-kids

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You Must Believe You Can Repair It

While this article - https://www.wired.com/story/vintage-van-home-repair-way-of-life/?utm_source=pocket-newtab - Mar 28, 2023 6:00 AM ‘You Must Believe You Can Repair It’ - is focused on the owner of a vehicle, I think there's something in those 7 words which apply to any conflict in life. In order to repair any conflict in life, "you must believe you can repair it" if you intend to spend any energy trying to repair that conflict. If you don't believe you can repair it, why even try?
The article provided an amazing insight into my perspective about how I live.

I Know Where Best Buy Is... That's ME

I Know Where Best Buy Is... That's ME [or "I Do Every Day: Why I Prefer Not to Wear a Cape"]

Behind the Scenes

Once upon a time, Karen and I wished to fly to Hawaii to mark our 30th wedding anniversary. However, at this precise moment, that trip is not happening in 2023.

Why is that? 

I am going to dip my foot in the pool of revealing details about what is going on in my life. Behind the scenes, there are many things peculating in life. I have decided to not write posts about those things as I consider them to be on the line in the sand between "public" and "private." For example, I believe I have mentioned - perhaps many times - that I write in a private journal which I would never ever publish. All of that said, I feel like I also need to provide a bookmark for when I want to reread posts during this time in my life someday in the future.

It is for that reason that I am including the text from the following article:

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Editor's Note: the URL for the article linked to below is https://www.stylist.co.uk/relationships/family-friends/how-to-manage-sibling-argument and, as you can see, it originated in the UK, which means that some of the words below may look like a typo - such as "favoured" which is using the UK spelling rules - when the posts on this blog would spell "favoured" as "favored". To be clear, since the following information is directly from a UK site, the spelling of words - such as "favoured" - have not been edited.

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How to manage an argument with a sibling, according to an expert

1. Arguments with a sibling are inevitably tough, but there are steps you can take to make things a little easier on the both of you and stop things from getting toxic, Yassin says. 1. Avoid repetitive arguments “It’s really important to avoid repetitive arguments,” Yassin says. “It can be tempting to name-call and accuse and point the finger of blame by using statements such as, ‘you are…’, ‘you’ve made me feel…’ or, ‘you’ve caused…’. Instead, use ‘I’ statements such as, ‘I’m feeling…’, ‘I’m worried because…’. You are not inferring there is blame from the other and it’s a helpful way to diffuse a conflict.”
2. Don’t bring others into the argument “No matter how tempting, do not bring other family members into the conflict,” Yassin advises. “Stay in the present and avoid weaponising information from the past. You may feel that you know your sibling inside out, but the reality is that you will never really know what the other person is thinking or experiencing and guessing someone else’s position can be dangerous.”
3. Be open, curious and honest “Take time to enquire about what your sibling is thinking and feeling,” Yassin suggests. “If it feels like the argument is running away with you, slow it down. If the situation is heated, take the initiative to calmly step away. Say that you are upset and activated in that moment and what you would like to do is take yourself away.”
4. Give them space if necessary “If you’ve had an argument with a sibling and it has not been resolved, do not bombard that person with messages or voice notes and do not ask a parent to speak to them on your behalf,” Yassin says. “Put it on ice, step back and ensure your sibling knows you are not avoiding the situation, but rather you don’t want to speak to them when you are angry and highly activated.”
5. Consult a family therapist if things can’t be resolved “If sibling arguments are repetitive and do not resolve, it can impact on our ability to connect and trust in other relationships in life,” Yassin says. “Sibling relationships are really important so invest what you can into settling arguments and rebuilding healthy bonds. “It’s really common for siblings to argue when one feels the other has been favoured throughout life and that can set up a sibling rivalry. It can be an underlying cause of arguments in teen, adolescent and adult life. If you feel there are unresolved problems from the past that relate to family dynamics, seek professional support.”

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Starting the 200 Days Countdown today

I am going to present a brief overview of my 200 Days project.

On Monday, January 18, 1993, I started to write in a black 200 page college ruled notebook to count down to our wedding day. I was living in the house I grew up in and I was so anxious to marry Karen. I decided to write that volume because I knew my life was in a phase that would never be repeated in my future and I wanted to capture what I was feeling. I decided that I wasn't going to expect any words to be added to my 200 Days notebook on our actual wedding day so I decided that I would use August 6, 1993, as the final day on which I would write, a decision I have carried forward with each 200 Days volume. I also decided that I would create a list of 200 topics and assign a topic to each page. I would write a single front of a page about the topic. Many of the pages in the first volume have a couple of sentences to indicate that the topic was irrelevant or that the topic didn't merit writing any words. I wrote about Karen (of course), my friends, my family, my job, and relevant news of the day.

It so happened that the first night I began writing about the countdown to beginning a new chapter in my life was also the day that Chris Street, a basketball player at the U of Iowa, was killed in a car crash. It was also in January 1993 when Metallica came to Carver-Hawkeye Arena and played a concert, which I attended. 

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On Tuesday, January 18, 1994, I started to write in a red 200 page college ruled notebook to count down to our first wedding anniversary. I was living in the apartment in Coralville that Karen had been living in prior to marrying me and I wanted to capture the magic of writing the first 200 Days volume again.

On Wednesday, January 18, 1995, I started to write in a blue 200 page college ruled notebook to count down to our second wedding anniversary. A lot of changes were happening in life, such as we had purchased a house in North Liberty and no longer were living in the apartment in Coralville. Once again, I wanted to capture the magic of the previous two volumes. However, I realized during the writing of that volume, I was not actually recapturing anything from the previous two volumes. It was a burden to maintain a schedule that allowed me to write a 200 Days volume, a personal journal, and what would turn out to be my final spiral notebook of lyrics and poems. 

Which is why it wasn't until Friday, January 18, 2013, before I attempted to write a 200 Days volume to document the countdown to our 20th wedding anniversary. So many changes in my life had happened in the 6375 days (17 years, 5 months, 1 week, 5 days) since I finished the third volume on Sunday, August 6, 1995, that I felt like the time was right to attempt another 200 Days volume. 

When Thursday, January 18, 2018, arrived, I felt like writing another 200 Days volume to document the countdown to our 25th wedding anniversary made sense. Once again, there had been so many changes during the 1626 days (4 years, 5 months, 1 week, 5 days) between Tuesday, August 6, 2013 and Thursday, January 18, 2018.  

All of that leads me to Wednesday, January 18, 2023, and the first day of yet another 200 Days volume. In a short 200 days (6 months, 2 weeks, 5 days), it will be Sunday, August 6, 2023, which is the night before being married to Karen for 30 years. I am going to temporarily not follow the guidelines of my 10 Year Project, which is how I have been writing my journals since January 1, 2012. I assign a month and year to each of the 5 sections in a 200 page  notebook. For example, I could have a month of writing from 5 different years in the same 200 page notebook, meaning my journal writing is not done sequentially, which is what I did from May 1989 through December 31, 2011. My intention is to write this 200 Days volume as a part of the 10 Year Project, except I started a 200 page notebook today and I am going to write sequentially in as many 200 page notebooks as I need until August 6, 2023.

I am uncertain how often I will mention this 200 Days volume on this blog. However, since it is the first day of this volume, I felt it was relevant to write about what is happening outside of writing this blog.

How To Deal With ONE Big Issue You Can't Agree On

How To Deal With ONE Big Issue You Can't Agree On

How do you cope with your adult children fighting

How do you cope with your adult children fighting | HealthShare

I Do Everyday

I Do Everyday

Natural Childbirth

This was filmed in 1984-ish and he mentions he has a $17,000 Ferrari. In 2022, a Ferrari costs between $200,000 - $400,000...

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https://youtu.be/UEwPy31vWZ8

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I remember a Bed of Water

This article's title is a question: Whatever Happened to waterbeds? Typically, I don't like that structure, but I'll make an exemption today because I don't know what happened to the waterbeds that my parents and my brother and I had in the 1980s. While my parents had a waveless waterbed, I had a waveful (?) queen size in my bedroom. I remember that in my brother's room, there was a waveful (?) single waterbed. 

I liked having a waterbed. I don't remember sleeping on a mattress not made of water before I moved out of that house. I am pretty sure it was in my bedroom when I moved out to live with Karen but it was gone after we were married. I know there was a period of time when there was a waterbed, taken apart, and in the basement. I'm unsure whether it was my waterbed or my brother's waterbed. The only reason I remember this is because it was in the video I have of playing drums while Kenny Schmitt played guitar in that basement and you can see the waterbed frame on the basement floor. 

I wish I had a waterbed - it would be awesome.

Catching Up

There's a lot going on. To catch up:

1. On Friday, May 7, 2021, Alex graduated from UNI - I think I mentioned this earlier
2. On Saturday, May 8, 2021, Alex proposed to Hannah, his girlfriend - I think I mentioned this earlier
3. On Monday, June 7, 2021, Alex received a job offer at Wellmark in Des Moines
4. On Tuesday, June 8, 2021, Alex accepted the job offer at Wellmark in Des Moines
Shifting to the future
5. On Friday, June 18, 2021, Alex is moving to an apartment in Des Moines
6. On Monday, June 21, 2021, Alex starts his job at Wellmark in Des Moines

Negotiate the Big Bucks

This is irrelevant to me, but it's important to Alex, my son: 13 Tips to Negotiate Your Salary and Job Offer | Indeed.com.

There's some thing in the works, but I can't say what the thing is. I can't say more.

BIG NEWS!

 

Throwing Axes

My Nephew Banging on the Sandman

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Talking to My Dad in 2021

Passing On to the Next Adventure

 https://www.thegazette.com/obituaries/richard-j-dick-venteicher/