I will also compromise. Often, I will feel like a compromise is really just a way for someone else to get every thing they want at my expense. I will do that. Helmke really changed the way I think and the way I approach my relationships with others. Without getting into his personal details, as he was going through the divorce process, he told me (paraphrased) that he loved his ex-wife very much but if being with her meant that she was unhappy, his love for her shouldn't mean she lives life unhappily, just because I love her.
That idea was not new in 2016. In fact, it was first expressed in 2013 and then in 2014, 2015, and yes, probably into 2016. I was at Helmke's bachelor party, which was a gathering of friends to share stories and drink Scotch (I drank Mountain Dew). When the conversation turned serious, about the past, I spoke the above words. I think it shows a higher ordered thinking skill (teachers call it HOTS) to be able to see that about myself.
Here's another example. On the day I was laid off, after most of my personal things had been collected, I saw my manager, Dianne. We had a conversation in a conference room. We talked about many things. I found myself saying to her "I don't want to be laid off, but if laying me off means that others can continue doing the work that needs to be done, I get it." Is that not the same idea that Helmke had expressed to me about his ex-wife?
If I need to sacrifice myself so that others can be happy, I am willing to do so.
No comments:
Post a Comment