I love the Iron Man - Captain America relationship in Civil War! I think it makes complete sense. It demonstrates more than anything the character development that has occurred for the characters. It's true that before, Cap would firmly side with the government, and Iron Man would firmly side against it, but due to events that have unfolded over the years, they've changed as people. Back in Iron Man 2, Tony completely refused to give his technology to the government, but after the events of Age of Ultron, he saw the damage he could cause due to his own reckless attitude, as Ultron caused massive damage, destruction, and human casualties. The angry mother blaming Tony for her son's death cemented his position. Tony is visibly more weathered by the many challenging things he's had to endure in Civil War - the anxiety attacks, the constant worry of an impending alien attack, and guilt. On the other hand, Cap has become completely jaded by the government after the events of The Winter Soldier, seeing that Hydra had infiltrated the government and secretly been there for decades, as well as brainwashed his best friend and turned him into an assassin. His trust in the government has been broken and it's never coming back. As he said in Civil War, the government is "run by people with agendas, and agendas change".
I also never saw Cap as grumpy, he could be seen as plain and boring, but he was always a beacon of hope due to his unwavering and well-defined morality, that could never be shaken in the face of even insurmountable odds.
I found it under this video:
I love the kind of analysis Tornado Chaser made. The comment lays out an argument and then backs it up with much more than the boring and mundane "because I said so, I'm right" illogical argument. "I want home videos and our pictures burned to DVDs." "Why?" "Because I want a DVD." If the response is "Because I want to have a second backup for our memories," what argument can be made against that?!? It's the "because I [want] / [said so]" argument that kills a discussion. "I want to live in [this city] when I retire." "I don't want to live in [that city] when I retire." There's a lot to be said about finding compromises in life. I can say to my wife, "I want to buy concert tickets for 10 concerts that are going to be in the area" and she can reply, "10 concerts are too many, what about picking the 3 with the highest priority instead?" There's an offer in that response that can be negotiated. I can say to my wife, "I want to buy concert tickets for 10 concerts that are going to be in the area" and she can reply, "No." There's no offer in that response.
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