Why I Do Not Regret NOT Reading the Iowa City Press-Citizen

It seems like a lifetime ago, but I used to mock the Iowa City Press-Citizen for their writing. I have a spiral notebook, somewhere, with clippings from the newspaper that are awe-inspiring stupid. The one I remember most vividly is the caption under a picture that said a driver was "driving east from Iowa to Nebraska" - and because it's a caption, it means the driver either said it wrong and the reporter quoted him correctly or the reporter heard the general context of what the driver was saying and wrote the caption independent of a direct quote from the driver. In either scenario, that's just stupidity.

When I saw the caption below at the eye doctor in the waiting area, I felt like writing "...bats during aa game at..." ranks up there as being equally stupid as driving east from Iowa to get to Nebraska. To do so would require driving to a state like North Carolina, getting on a ship and riding on it with your car to Europe, then driving across Europe and Asia up to Alaska, then south to Washington state and then down to Colorado to get to Nebraska so you can be driving east to get to Nebraska. Do the editors at this newspaper have eyes?

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Ludicrous speed anyone?!?

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"Petty excuse for an officer..." - Oh my gosh. "Petty officer!" I've watched this movie (too) many times, but I just caught that!