I don't often write about the writing process I go through to write a blog post. The details are boring. I type a sentence, delete it, retype it, move the second part of the sentence to become the first part, move paragraphs at the bottom of a post to the top, and all sorts of other mind-numbing steps before I finally click Publish and share my thoughts with the world. In fact, this precise paragraph was at the bottom of this post before I moved it to be my opening paragraph, changed my mind, and placed it back at the bottom and then reread it and put it back up at the top. Before I even created a post with "Part 03" in its title, this post was at the bottom of Part 02. That was prior to my decision to address my faith in God on a separate post.
Partly, I blame Courtney Kirkland for that. I discovered her website when a Facebook friend shared her article called "I Don't Want to Be a Christian" on her wall. I admit to being skeptical when I read the title of the article. I nearly didn't bother to click on it. But then I did. I read the essay. If I had not, I would probably never have discovered Kirkland's writing talent. On the link above, this video was embedded. I nearly didn't watch the video, but I did.
I cried.
I felt joy.
I truly wish that faith in God would be something that would unite every person on earth with the person next to them. Unfortunately, there's division. Whether you believe there is a "War on Christianity" (as Bill O'Reilly talks about every Christmas season) or you believe there is not a "War on Christianity" is not really important. Label it a war or a conspiracy theory - whatever suits your whim at this precise moment. I believe in God and I believe that God sent Jesus Christ to die for my sins. I've read essays by atheists. Often, these essays criticize Christians for believing in what cannot be seen. To me, that is precisely what my faith *IS* - the belief that there is a God and that God is bigger than anything my feeble mind can comprehend.
As I've mentioned elsewhere on this blog, I am Catholic. Being a member of the Catholic church is not easy. After all, I am a human being and - shocker! - I sin. While there are prescribed guidelines for avoiding sin, as described in this article, I will be the first to say it's not always that simple. I believe that my relationship with God is personal.
People I either know or have learned about struggle with their faith. Former Catholics point out that the Catholic church is comprised of hypocrites and that they cannot be a part of a religion that has hypocrites. Former Catholics are classified as "former" because of a divorce. Others - including a priest that helped baptize a nephew - have left the Catholic church because they were victims of sexual abuse by priests. Those are big issues and not for a split second do I think they are trivial issues. They can't be reduced to the level of being at a general store in Elkader and trying to decide whether to have ice cream in a waffle cone or in a bowl.
Life is about choices. I will be the first to describe the lack of good choices I've made in my life, but God loves me, despite all of my sins and despite all of my human traits. I don't understand God's plan, but I believe that when the time is right, I will. I don't understand why Mom - a woman with a Master's degree and who spent 40+ years in educating the youth in Cedar Rapids - was reduced to not being able to communicate during the last few months of her life. Mom was left handed so it doesn't make sense to me why God chose her left hand to be the one to contract, causing her to learn to do every thing with her right hand. And I don't understand why God chose me to be with her the last days of her life, including when she passed. I hope that someday I will.
No comments:
Post a Comment