When I encountered Kelly R, it was in the fall of 1991. She was in my 2nd hour Language Arts sophomore class. I remember my lesson was going to be about editing so I found an article with about 10 sentences published in the Sunday Cedar Rapids Gazette. I split the sentences in the story into numbered items and, as I typed them, I added spelling and grammar errors. I was really excited because editing is one of my (many) passions.
Over the last 27 years, I have thought about her sentence many times. Sometimes, I wonder if what she meant was "We [talked about editing] last year" and was trying to tell me that editing was going to be review and, ultimately, boring to her and her fellow classmates. Nonetheless, because I was a shitty student teacher, I plowed on with my lesson.
I write that I was a shitty student teacher because time has taught me something about myself. I let my passion for the things I love interfere with picking up on the reactions of other people. I have learned that about myself so now I don't talk about rock and roll with my father-in-law because he doesn't care about it - Elvis was the downfall of our society after all. I didn't always realize that about him so many times I would try to tell him about the music about which I am passionate about to, basically, someone who didn't care about what I was saying. To circle back to the graphic, I chuckle when I think about Kelly R on that morning, but I also think about what Kelly R. may have been trying to tell me. Maybe her intent was to warn me about myself and send me a message that said "Hey, you need to listen and not let your passion get in the way of our relationship." It was a failure in communication - she sent a message and while I heard her words, I didn't listen to her message. Even now, all these years later, I attempt to listen not just to Metallica or to the NEW Judas Priest tune embedded below, but to every person with whom I have contact. I think what started the revolution in my head was when I went to a weekly Bible Study at church. We were studying the Book of James and, one week, we discussed what has become my second favorite verse in the Bible:
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry
I realize there are many translations of that verse - as documented on this website - but the above is my favorite version of it. I think about it as a means to 'ground' me in the reality of my surroundings, not the false reality in my head where I can be a proficient drummer by Sunday, February 11, 3 PM, by not practicing drums. Mark, my brother-in-law, razzed me last night as I was sitting on the couch, watching TV. "Why aren't you practicing? You have to have your A game ready!" I will likely find time to practice tomorrow.
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