Once upon a time, Karen and I wished to fly to Hawaii to mark our 30th wedding anniversary. However, at this precise moment, that trip is not happening in 2023.
Why is that?
I am going to dip my foot in the pool of revealing details about what is going on in my life. Behind the scenes, there are many things peculating in life. I have decided to not write posts about those things as I consider them to be on the line in the sand between "public" and "private." For example, I believe I have mentioned - perhaps many times - that I write in a private journal which I would never ever publish. All of that said, I feel like I also need to provide a bookmark for when I want to reread posts during this time in my life someday in the future.
It is for that reason that I am including the text from the following article:
Editor's Note: the URL for the article linked to below is https://www.stylist.co.uk/relationships/family-friends/how-to-manage-sibling-argument and, as you can see, it originated in the UK, which means that some of the words below may look like a typo - such as "favoured" which is using the UK spelling rules - when the posts on this blog would spell "favoured" as "favored". To be clear, since the following information is directly from a UK site, the spelling of words - such as "favoured" - have not been edited.
How to manage an argument with a sibling, according to an expert
- Arguments with a sibling are inevitably tough, but there are steps you can take to make things a little easier on the both of you and stop things from getting toxic, Yassin says. 1. Avoid repetitive arguments “It’s really important to avoid repetitive arguments,” Yassin says. “It can be tempting to name-call and accuse and point the finger of blame by using statements such as, ‘you are…’, ‘you’ve made me feel…’ or, ‘you’ve caused…’. Instead, use ‘I’ statements such as, ‘I’m feeling…’, ‘I’m worried because…’. You are not inferring there is blame from the other and it’s a helpful way to diffuse a conflict.”
- Don’t bring others into the argument “No matter how tempting, do not bring other family members into the conflict,” Yassin advises. “Stay in the present and avoid weaponising information from the past. You may feel that you know your sibling inside out, but the reality is that you will never really know what the other person is thinking or experiencing and guessing someone else’s position can be dangerous.”
- Be open, curious and honest “Take time to enquire about what your sibling is thinking and feeling,” Yassin suggests. “If it feels like the argument is running away with you, slow it down. If the situation is heated, take the initiative to calmly step away. Say that you are upset and activated in that moment and what you would like to do is take yourself away.”
- Give them space if necessary “If you’ve had an argument with a sibling and it has not been resolved, do not bombard that person with messages or voice notes and do not ask a parent to speak to them on your behalf,” Yassin says. “Put it on ice, step back and ensure your sibling knows you are not avoiding the situation, but rather you don’t want to speak to them when you are angry and highly activated.”
- Consult a family therapist if things can’t be resolved “If sibling arguments are repetitive and do not resolve, it can impact on our ability to connect and trust in other relationships in life,” Yassin says. “Sibling relationships are really important so invest what you can into settling arguments and rebuilding healthy bonds. “It’s really common for siblings to argue when one feels the other has been favoured throughout life and that can set up a sibling rivalry. It can be an underlying cause of arguments in teen, adolescent and adult life. If you feel there are unresolved problems from the past that relate to family dynamics, seek professional support.”
No comments:
Post a Comment