Sometimes, it seems like every thing I see is a candidate for an entry on this blog.
For example, I discovered the "That's Not Metal" blog.
I also read this:
"It feels like a huge burden has been lifted off your shoulders. I mean, there's not a single day that you cannot think about this policy while serving in the military. And knowing today that there's a career I have an opportunity to have where I don't have to be scared of who I am and who I love, that I can be part of the military family and I'm so excited about it. And I think every other gay person in the military feels the exact same way." -Air Force First Lieutenant Josh Seefried, founder of OutServe, on the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell
I still do not understand what someone does in the privacy of their bed has to do with anything. I don’t care what Josh Seefried does. I don’t want to know. And, frankly, while I have never been in the armed forces, my impression is that when you join the armed forces, you give up your individual identity and become part of the collective. You do not think of your own needs above the needs of your fellow soldiers. Maybe that’s too simplistic. I may never know since I do not intend to join the military.
And then I read about the Dems trying to do the same thing that the Repubs tried to do:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/21/house-democrats-government-shutdown-continuing-resolution_n_973867.html
Subject: Naming Yourself After a Rock Band
A Missouri man who changed his name to Led Zeppelin IInow says his life has improved "a thousandfold." The former George Blackburn, 64, made the changeon the day he divorced his third wife because hewanted a fresh start. "I don't want to appear to besome off-the-wall, drug-addict idiot," he said.
Flawless logic there, George.
The Top 5 Downsides of Naming Yourself After a Rock Band
5. You quickly find yourself named as defendant in Metallica v. Metallica Jones.
4. "Sorry about the extended body cavity search, but if you hurry you can still catch your flight, Mr. Anthrax."
3. Funny how often Child Protective Services checks up your daughter, Mary Alice in Chains.
2. Sure, you worship Townshend and Daltrey, but that whole Abbott & Costello routine got old REALLY fast.
And The #1 Downside of Naming Yourself After a Rock Band... 1. Ever since you took the name Strawberry Alarm Clock, people assume you're Gwyneth Paltrow's kid.
Search This Blog
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Cosby Show Gems
The sad fact is this: they don't make shows like "The Cosby Show" anymore. I have watched enough "iCarly" episodes to realize they are not in the same league. At all. The facts are simple. This show captured a lot of African-American issues throughout the series, but these two episodes are not about those issues. These episodes are about the issues that arise when children experiment with alcohol and when children lie to their parents. Without preaching, without making bold judgments about right and wrong, these two episodes deal with the issues parents must deal with when their children misbehave. I think these episodes could easily be required viewing for students in some kids. sort of class in high school, maybe junior high. Obviously, there could be outstanding discussions about how the parents interact with the kids.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Miss One, Plan One, Want One
So yes, I am planning to see Opeth in October. I finalized plans with my friend and it's a go. We'll leave on a Friday AM, get up to the Twin Cities, check into the hotel, eat, get into the venue early, get an autographed copy of the band's new CD, and listen to some excellent heavy metal.
However, I did miss The Big Four show in Yankee Stadium last night.
However, I did miss The Big Four show in Yankee Stadium last night.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Going to a Show / Gotta go gotta go
I am going to venture to the Twin Cities to see Opeth! I hope they play this!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Drumming with a Smile
Lars Ulrich always looks like he has to go to the bathroom when he plays drums. He grimaces and looks like he is really mad. It brings an intensity, I think, to his playing. As the 'anti-Lars' I offer this video by Meytal Cohen. She smiles. I like it. When I play drums @ 5:15 Mass tonight and 11 Mass tomorrow, I fully intend to smile.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Holy .... Nah, not really
Some call XERATH "Experimental Progressive Metallers" but I prefer to think of them as interesting. The vocals could do without the cookie monster style. I like the drumming and the guitar riff settles into a good groove fairly early in the song. While I don't know if I will ever really truly get over the way the vocalists in this type of band, but the drums and guitars (and bass) overpower it.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Acoustic Metallica, Sextone, and Death Cab for Cutie
A few bands have been on my mind. First, Metallica.
In a conversation through e-mail with my brother, I mentioned that the band he was going to see reminded me of Sexstone.
Was just reminded of how much I like this song too...
I am not all about heavy metal. I have diverse tastes in music.
In a conversation through e-mail with my brother, I mentioned that the band he was going to see reminded me of Sexstone.
Was just reminded of how much I like this song too...
I am not all about heavy metal. I have diverse tastes in music.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Why?
Why is it that kids don't stay in their bed when they can't sleep? I mean, really? If I can't sleep, I roll over and relax. I don't go wake someone up.
And by the way, no, I am not going to go to San Francisco, CA, to see Metallica in December. It's not going to work out. I can still go to livemetallica.com and purchase the shows and it will be okay with me. Plus, I imagine, there will be online videos of these shows online on youtube.
Back to work tomorrow. I can't wait. I kind of took a mental break from work and that makes me feel refreshed.
Finally, Kevin Nash returned at Summerslam and kicked CM Punk, which allowed Alberto del Rio to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase and beat CM Punk to be the new WWE champion. Raw tomorrow night will be interesting.
The other interesting thing about tomorrow night is that I will wait a 1/2 hour for Alex's drum lesson to be over and while I wait, I put on headphones and play a Pearl electronic set. Last week, I put my MP3 player on and drummed along to Metallica's "Death Magnetic." Some of the songs I thought would be simple proved to not be as simple as I thought when I was actually trying to play. It was still fun. I continue to think of Mondays as a highlight to my week.
And by the way, no, I am not going to go to San Francisco, CA, to see Metallica in December. It's not going to work out. I can still go to livemetallica.com and purchase the shows and it will be okay with me. Plus, I imagine, there will be online videos of these shows online on youtube.
Back to work tomorrow. I can't wait. I kind of took a mental break from work and that makes me feel refreshed.
Finally, Kevin Nash returned at Summerslam and kicked CM Punk, which allowed Alberto del Rio to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase and beat CM Punk to be the new WWE champion. Raw tomorrow night will be interesting.
The other interesting thing about tomorrow night is that I will wait a 1/2 hour for Alex's drum lesson to be over and while I wait, I put on headphones and play a Pearl electronic set. Last week, I put my MP3 player on and drummed along to Metallica's "Death Magnetic." Some of the songs I thought would be simple proved to not be as simple as I thought when I was actually trying to play. It was still fun. I continue to think of Mondays as a highlight to my week.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Kindles
Today was an exciting day. My father, my son, my daughter, and I trekked to Best Buy by the Coral Ridge Mall. My father bought my daughter a Kindle. Now, as I'm staring at the Kindle, my daughter has forgotten her password. Already.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Think about it...
You work for a software development company.
A user is using your software. The user selects a row in a grid and click a button called "View Details". On the View Details window, there is another grid that displays information relevant to the row that was selected on the first window. The user clicks Close to return to the previous window. An error message appears. The error message is related to a coding issue and not related in any way to the data the user viewed or anything like that. It is a pure programming issue.
The client calls Customer Support. The client is not upset but rather curious if anyone else has reported the issue. No, CS tells the client, no one has. The client notes that when he clicked the X in the upper right corner, after restarting the program and returning to the View Details window, the program doesn't bomb. The CS rep, with the client on the phone, navigates to the same window and when he clicks Close, the program does bomb. CS verifies they are using the same version of the software.
CS enters a bug into the bug tracking system. The description is "When the user clicks the Close button on the View Details window, the program bombs."
The bug is then routed to development. The development team enters this comment in the bug tracking software: "Removed Close button. Click the X to close the window."
It goes to the software tester. Software tester accepts this resolution and enters the following in the release notes for the release this resolution is included in: "When the user clicked the Close button, the program would abort. Changed the program to remove the Close button."
1) Is the developer's resolution of this bug satisfactory to you? [I say no, it is not. The developer should have fixed the code behind the Close button to close the window correctly.]
2) Should the developer's resolution have been rejected by software testing? [I say yes.]
3) Should the CS rep have asked the user what they expected as a resolution to the issue? [I say yes. The user wanted the Close button to work.]
I thought about this situation when reading a thread about software testing.
A user is using your software. The user selects a row in a grid and click a button called "View Details". On the View Details window, there is another grid that displays information relevant to the row that was selected on the first window. The user clicks Close to return to the previous window. An error message appears. The error message is related to a coding issue and not related in any way to the data the user viewed or anything like that. It is a pure programming issue.
The client calls Customer Support. The client is not upset but rather curious if anyone else has reported the issue. No, CS tells the client, no one has. The client notes that when he clicked the X in the upper right corner, after restarting the program and returning to the View Details window, the program doesn't bomb. The CS rep, with the client on the phone, navigates to the same window and when he clicks Close, the program does bomb. CS verifies they are using the same version of the software.
CS enters a bug into the bug tracking system. The description is "When the user clicks the Close button on the View Details window, the program bombs."
The bug is then routed to development. The development team enters this comment in the bug tracking software: "Removed Close button. Click the X to close the window."
It goes to the software tester. Software tester accepts this resolution and enters the following in the release notes for the release this resolution is included in: "When the user clicked the Close button, the program would abort. Changed the program to remove the Close button."
1) Is the developer's resolution of this bug satisfactory to you? [I say no, it is not. The developer should have fixed the code behind the Close button to close the window correctly.]
2) Should the developer's resolution have been rejected by software testing? [I say yes.]
3) Should the CS rep have asked the user what they expected as a resolution to the issue? [I say yes. The user wanted the Close button to work.]
I thought about this situation when reading a thread about software testing.
Manic Depression / Lowlife
Sometimes my musical tastes just scatter all over the worlds of music. This AM, without meaning to, I started thinking about Hendrix's Manic Depression and came upon this:
Then I thought about the opposite of Hendrix: the band called Theory of a Deadman:
Then I thought about the opposite of Hendrix: the band called Theory of a Deadman:
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Thoughts about Marriage from Jim
Sometimes, unintentionally, you come across prose that swells your heart and soon you feel like the author was sitting next to you. This is from Jim Barrow, a member of a Tech Writer's chat list I subscribe to.
You shouldn't compromise your beliefs because someone implies that you're flawed if you believe the things that you do. Stand up for what you believe in - don't let anyone bully you because of how you feel.
the world is moving further away from moral purity and more towards doing what is right in its own eyes. One of the symptoms of this moral decay is the increase in denial of the necessity of marriage, or that a priest is not necessary and marriage doesn't favor women's rights.
If you believe in God, then you know that we need marriage because God says we should be married. Marriage is not only for the benefit of the couple, but it is also for the children. When a husband and wife are bound by a public promise to stay faithful to each other, to remain dedicated to one another even through sickness and poverty, the marriage bond is a much stronger one, and this is critically important because marriage is the foundation of society. It is the bedrock of moral development of children and the place where faithfulness and integrity are lived out in the lives of its participants.
If a man and woman live together without the benefit of marriage, they are saying that God is not correct and that marriage is not necessary. If they have children out of wedlock they are risking the children's moral and emotional health since the children will learn that convenience and self-serving ideals are more important than integrity. They will learn that personal preference is more valuable than the welfare of another. They will learn that selfishness is the model by which to live since the sacrifice of commitment to one person has not been made.
Marriage helps to secure the family bond thereby providing a more secure environment in which the children may grow so that they might properly learn morality and integrity as they enter into society as adults. After all, those parents who do not value marriage tend not to value commitment and children should not be raised where the parents are not committed to each other.
Marriage helps to ensure the very sanctity of the spouse-to-spouse relationship since marriage is a public statement of exclusive dedication. This helps to establish a foundation in the relationship where a marriageless, living-together relationship can have no true trust since people are together out of convenience. If it becomes inconvenient, then they can easily break up - children or no children.
Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It is a promise to live together faithfully, till death, through thick and thin, sickness and health and it is a benefit to the children who are raised in it. Marriage is a blessing from God.
That's my belief, anyway.
I was speechless after I read that the first time...
You shouldn't compromise your beliefs because someone implies that you're flawed if you believe the things that you do. Stand up for what you believe in - don't let anyone bully you because of how you feel.
If you believe in God, then you know that we need marriage because God says we should be married. Marriage is not only for the benefit of the couple, but it is also for the children. When a husband and wife are bound by a public promise to stay faithful to each other, to remain dedicated to one another even through sickness and poverty, the marriage bond is a much stronger one, and this is critically important because marriage is the foundation of society. It is the bedrock of moral development of children and the place where faithfulness and integrity are lived out in the lives of its participants.
If a man and woman live together without the benefit of marriage, they are saying that God is not correct and that marriage is not necessary. If they have children out of wedlock they are risking the children's moral and emotional health since the children will learn that convenience and self-serving ideals are more important than integrity. They will learn that personal preference is more valuable than the welfare of another. They will learn that selfishness is the model by which to live since the sacrifice of commitment to one person has not been made.
Marriage helps to secure the family bond thereby providing a more secure environment in which the children may grow so that they might properly learn morality and integrity as they enter into society as adults. After all, those parents who do not value marriage tend not to value commitment and children should not be raised where the parents are not committed to each other.
Marriage helps to ensure the very sanctity of the spouse-to-spouse relationship since marriage is a public statement of exclusive dedication. This helps to establish a foundation in the relationship where a marriageless, living-together relationship can have no true trust since people are together out of convenience. If it becomes inconvenient, then they can easily break up - children or no children.
Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It is a promise to live together faithfully, till death, through thick and thin, sickness and health and it is a benefit to the children who are raised in it. Marriage is a blessing from God.
That's my belief, anyway.
I was speechless after I read that the first time...
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Status
What you're not seeing on this blog is my complete and total happiness. First of all, I have made a personal decision to not do something that I have done for the last 23 years. I gave it up just prior to the 2011 year starting and have been avoiding the vice. Anyone that knows me has seen me do this vice with them so yes, it's true, I gave up telling awful jokes. Except blonde ones to Susie. Not really but there may be a clue in the liquid if you look closely enough.
In other areas of my life, work is fantastically busy and rewarding. Every day this week, except yesterday, I have been in @ 6 AM. Now that means I get up at 5 AM. I write this not for pity or anything. I went through 6 months where I did not want to get up at 6 AM or ever when I knew where I was going and what I was going to do. My new job (the one I started 5/31) has been a blessing in my life. I am energized by the work I do. I sit by very nice people. I have a very supportive manager who listens to what is said. Today we were talking about the work we (the three of us) need to get done. "I keep hearing you have 'a lot' of work to do, but I can't quantify that. I can't say [to someone else] that there is 'a lot' of work to do because everyone's idea of what 'a lot' is is different." I counted the number of things we have to review. There is a lot - 89. Probably, in all, there are 100 things that must be done because some additional tasks have been identified. All of this was to be done by 8/5 (tomorrow) but despite putting in very long hours (I worked 6-530 today), we have not completed what we set out to complete. Here's the kicker. Instead of being furious with us for not having met a date, our manager is willing to enter negotiations on our behalf and to explain where we are; not with fingerpointing. It's really awesome. On top of that, when it was mentioned that neither I nor one of my co-workers could work a lot this weekend, our manager said, "I know you have been putting in crazy hours and I'm not asking for the weekend." How generous that attitude feels! I was very happy to hear that. And yes, I have been kicking as much a$$ as I can. It feels tremendous to be at work and not just because I'm not an employee of a former employer. It feel tremendous to have my life goals aligning, to have a better financial future, to have all the things that I have always wanted, coming together.
Watched the "The Naked Truth" episode with Megan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_vCu7qkuIo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO0yDEUINng&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwvXTwyHC-A&NR=1
In other areas of my life, work is fantastically busy and rewarding. Every day this week, except yesterday, I have been in @ 6 AM. Now that means I get up at 5 AM. I write this not for pity or anything. I went through 6 months where I did not want to get up at 6 AM or ever when I knew where I was going and what I was going to do. My new job (the one I started 5/31) has been a blessing in my life. I am energized by the work I do. I sit by very nice people. I have a very supportive manager who listens to what is said. Today we were talking about the work we (the three of us) need to get done. "I keep hearing you have 'a lot' of work to do, but I can't quantify that. I can't say [to someone else] that there is 'a lot' of work to do because everyone's idea of what 'a lot' is is different." I counted the number of things we have to review. There is a lot - 89. Probably, in all, there are 100 things that must be done because some additional tasks have been identified. All of this was to be done by 8/5 (tomorrow) but despite putting in very long hours (I worked 6-530 today), we have not completed what we set out to complete. Here's the kicker. Instead of being furious with us for not having met a date, our manager is willing to enter negotiations on our behalf and to explain where we are; not with fingerpointing. It's really awesome. On top of that, when it was mentioned that neither I nor one of my co-workers could work a lot this weekend, our manager said, "I know you have been putting in crazy hours and I'm not asking for the weekend." How generous that attitude feels! I was very happy to hear that. And yes, I have been kicking as much a$$ as I can. It feels tremendous to be at work and not just because I'm not an employee of a former employer. It feel tremendous to have my life goals aligning, to have a better financial future, to have all the things that I have always wanted, coming together.
Watched the "The Naked Truth" episode with Megan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_vCu7qkuIo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO0yDEUINng&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwvXTwyHC-A&NR=1
Monday, August 1, 2011
Moving Forward
Camping season 2011 is complete! We tore down from our month in Elkader, cleaned the camper out, negotiated through the construction around Ketelsen's RV, and ended up home around 6. We ordered pizza. While Alex and I watched "I am Number Four" downstairs, Karen and Megan watched "The Bachelor" upstairs.
Looking ahead, there is no signs of things slowing down anytime soon. We have something going pretty much every night and every weekend. I am actually looking forward to the next 5 weekends - I think I will sleep in my own bed (v. the camper).
I also am trying to kickstart my review writing. I (easily) have 31 CDs/DVDs to review and my ambitious goal is to write one a day. That's 500 words. For me, who proclaims I am a writer, 500 words a day should not be difficult. It's an hour away from the TV.
I am also ecstatic about work. One of the reasons I haven't written lately is I have been going into work @ 6 AM (getting up at 5) and that has caused me to go to sleep as close to 10 PM as possible. There are some big deadlines upcoming and I am doing everything in my power to meet them. Our department was cut by 1 (to 3) due to Lisa going to a different department. It has been a challenge. There are essentially 3 huge deadlines and I am doing every thing I can (like putting in extra hours) to meet them.
In *other* news, I could *possibly* be going to WinWriters in Memphis, TN, in March 2012. In *other* news, I could *possibly* be going to see Metallica, in San Francisco, CA, in December 2011. Both of those trips are too early in the planning process to go into a lot of detail. Not holding my breath on either - they may never happen.
So looking forward, there are a lot of things on my docket (I've never written that word before) in the next few months. There are going to be a lot upcoming things in my life and I cannot wait to experience them.
One final thought about the world. I am still finding out about the so-called "budget deal." I read on MSNBC that the Republicans won so I guess I should be happy? I also read that some members of the Tea Party wing are not happy. Mitt Romney, running for president, took the opportunity to speak about the president's lack of leadership (big surprise there!) and make a campaign speech in the process of a) condemning the current plan but b) failing to offer his own plan.
I'll take a minute to write about that. It makes me furious - and I don't care if you are a donkey or an elephant - when all the elected official can do is complain about the other plans that are presented. Where is *your* plan? If you know enough to say that the other plan is not going to work, is going to mean the loss of jobs, is going to mean that we are never going to get out of debt, then you surely know enough to offer a solution. Right? RIGHT??? Seriously. I don't get it. For example, if I tell you that a plan to only cut spending is going to make things worse, a fair response to that is, "Would you want your taxes to go up?" It's fair. Really, it is. It's okay to disagree. Personally, I think if you look deep enough and hard enough and long enough at where the federal government spends, surely, *surely* there is something that can reduce spending. And I've heard arguments that said, "If you cut XYZ program, it only reduces spending by 1 billion, but we have trillions we have to cut." Fine. How many billions have to be added up to equal 'trillions'? Figure it out and cut those programs.
That aside, I hope that the budget deal makes it somewhat easier for my kids to survive when I no longer walk the earth.
Looking ahead, there is no signs of things slowing down anytime soon. We have something going pretty much every night and every weekend. I am actually looking forward to the next 5 weekends - I think I will sleep in my own bed (v. the camper).
I also am trying to kickstart my review writing. I (easily) have 31 CDs/DVDs to review and my ambitious goal is to write one a day. That's 500 words. For me, who proclaims I am a writer, 500 words a day should not be difficult. It's an hour away from the TV.
I am also ecstatic about work. One of the reasons I haven't written lately is I have been going into work @ 6 AM (getting up at 5) and that has caused me to go to sleep as close to 10 PM as possible. There are some big deadlines upcoming and I am doing everything in my power to meet them. Our department was cut by 1 (to 3) due to Lisa going to a different department. It has been a challenge. There are essentially 3 huge deadlines and I am doing every thing I can (like putting in extra hours) to meet them.
In *other* news, I could *possibly* be going to WinWriters in Memphis, TN, in March 2012. In *other* news, I could *possibly* be going to see Metallica, in San Francisco, CA, in December 2011. Both of those trips are too early in the planning process to go into a lot of detail. Not holding my breath on either - they may never happen.
So looking forward, there are a lot of things on my docket (I've never written that word before) in the next few months. There are going to be a lot upcoming things in my life and I cannot wait to experience them.
One final thought about the world. I am still finding out about the so-called "budget deal." I read on MSNBC that the Republicans won so I guess I should be happy? I also read that some members of the Tea Party wing are not happy. Mitt Romney, running for president, took the opportunity to speak about the president's lack of leadership (big surprise there!) and make a campaign speech in the process of a) condemning the current plan but b) failing to offer his own plan.
I'll take a minute to write about that. It makes me furious - and I don't care if you are a donkey or an elephant - when all the elected official can do is complain about the other plans that are presented. Where is *your* plan? If you know enough to say that the other plan is not going to work, is going to mean the loss of jobs, is going to mean that we are never going to get out of debt, then you surely know enough to offer a solution. Right? RIGHT??? Seriously. I don't get it. For example, if I tell you that a plan to only cut spending is going to make things worse, a fair response to that is, "Would you want your taxes to go up?" It's fair. Really, it is. It's okay to disagree. Personally, I think if you look deep enough and hard enough and long enough at where the federal government spends, surely, *surely* there is something that can reduce spending. And I've heard arguments that said, "If you cut XYZ program, it only reduces spending by 1 billion, but we have trillions we have to cut." Fine. How many billions have to be added up to equal 'trillions'? Figure it out and cut those programs.
That aside, I hope that the budget deal makes it somewhat easier for my kids to survive when I no longer walk the earth.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Jokes
A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'
The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page...
So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'
The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS
AFRICAN IMMIGRANT
AND STEALS HIS LUNCH
That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days...
HOW TO START A FIGHT
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said, ‘'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said,”Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me, finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
And then the fight started...
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started.
01.If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? (weird).
02.When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought).
03.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd).
04.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking).
05.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows).
06.Can you cry under water? (let me try).
07.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else).
08.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows.)
09.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell).
10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes).
11.What does OK actually mean?.
12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch).
13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed).
14.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments).
15.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help).
16.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes you can).
17.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it).
18.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically).
19.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (I didn't had a chance to try).
20.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice).
21.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice?).
22.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law).
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'
The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page...
So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'
The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS
AFRICAN IMMIGRANT
AND STEALS HIS LUNCH
That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days...
HOW TO START A FIGHT
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said, ‘'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said,”Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me, finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
And then the fight started...
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started.
01.If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? (weird).
02.When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought).
03.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd).
04.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking).
05.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows).
06.Can you cry under water? (let me try).
07.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else).
08.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows.)
09.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell).
10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes).
11.What does OK actually mean?.
12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch).
13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed).
14.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments).
15.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help).
16.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes you can).
17.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it).
18.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically).
19.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (I didn't had a chance to try).
20.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice).
21.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice?).
22.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law).
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
In Spite of You
How could I make those steps daily
Without you telling me I will fail
How could I consider my life my own
WIthout you trying to take it away
I am stronger with you breathing down my throat
It gives a sense of urgency to escape
Tell me again how hopeless I am
Lights the fuel to succeed
Just to prove you wrong
Live my life each day
Hoping to never lose the will
To succeed and prosper in spite of you!
All those times you stepped on me
You told me it was a waste of time
I could sense your apathy
You didn't want me to rise unless you were still looking down
So all these years of being pushed
Time is mine to push back
Cannot mention any others
This is about redemption for my sins
Without you telling me I will fail
How could I consider my life my own
WIthout you trying to take it away
I am stronger with you breathing down my throat
It gives a sense of urgency to escape
Tell me again how hopeless I am
Lights the fuel to succeed
Just to prove you wrong
Live my life each day
Hoping to never lose the will
To succeed and prosper in spite of you!
All those times you stepped on me
You told me it was a waste of time
I could sense your apathy
You didn't want me to rise unless you were still looking down
So all these years of being pushed
Time is mine to push back
Cannot mention any others
This is about redemption for my sins
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Clear the Slate...
Editor's Note - the video in question was removed from youtube.com so it is no longer available for your viewing pleasure.
Without a doubt, if you are a Metallica fan, you need to spend time on this page, but you should probably clear your slate of things you want to do, like update your blog.
Back soon.
Without a doubt, if you are a Metallica fan, you need to spend time on this page, but you should probably clear your slate of things you want to do, like update your blog.
Back soon.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Vacation
You'll have to forgive me. I've been busy. I'm going to be off-line for a few days and will write when I return. Have a safe 4th of July. Enjoy these fireworks until I return. I can honestly say that I have at least 12 things I want to write about but do not have time to dive into them. In the meantime, here's a teaser. What rock star's home is selling for 12 million dollars?
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Peace
I should not go into Best Buy. I don't venture within very often but when I do, it's like a haze comes over my 'good judgment' side of my brain. I went in the store today to purchase two mice, one for my dad and one for me. My work PC is a laptop and I have grown tired of the touchpaddy thing as a way to work within MS Word. I walked by a bin that proclaimed a sign "Movies - $3.99 Each."
Of course, I pause and look at what they have. There's some horror movies and movies I've never heard of. There's some comedies and dramas that I wouldn't consider assets to my DVD collection.
Then I see two jewels.
The first jewel is "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," a movie I have a love/hate relationship with. It was in high school, at some time, when I watched a VHS version of this movie at John Rath's house. I remember the occasion quite vividly. I remember laughing at the clever use of humor. I walked out of JR's house thinking, "Mom and Dad will love this movie." I rented it, popped it into the VCR and... it felt like I had rented an albatross for my neck. I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever seen. I never drank alcohol in high school so it wasn't funny at JR's house because of a drunken lapse of judgment. I don't really know exactly why it wasn't funny when I watched it with my parents. Could have just been the atmosphere and the hype I had built up for them to watch it. Needless to say, I do not believe we sat through the entire movie that night. At some point, the movie was stopped and, somewhat dejected, I returned it to the video store the next day.
Fast forward to May 2011 and it was on TV, for some odd reason. Megan and I watched a little part of it. We watched the knights clap coconuts together as they galloped their fake steeds. She thought it was funny and, in fact, has referenced it several times since then. So there it was today, in the bargain bin, a measly $3.99. I had to have it.
The other movie I saw has a less thrilling history with me. It is the often criticized Starship Troopers. I like the film. I think it has a good plot and dazzling special effects.
Proceeding with the continuation of the trip to Best Buy, we are almost out the door when I decide to look at CDs. Another of my weaknesses in Best Buy. I see a bargain bin of CDs, each priced at $4.99. AH!! There's an Aerosmith live CD (blech!) and then I see it. Loverboy's "Get Lucky", a gem from my youth. There are even bonus tracks, including a demo of their hit single "Working for the Weekend."
All three of these jewels are still in the shrinkwrap. I should partake in them from 7/5-7/7!
Of course, I pause and look at what they have. There's some horror movies and movies I've never heard of. There's some comedies and dramas that I wouldn't consider assets to my DVD collection.
Then I see two jewels.
The first jewel is "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," a movie I have a love/hate relationship with. It was in high school, at some time, when I watched a VHS version of this movie at John Rath's house. I remember the occasion quite vividly. I remember laughing at the clever use of humor. I walked out of JR's house thinking, "Mom and Dad will love this movie." I rented it, popped it into the VCR and... it felt like I had rented an albatross for my neck. I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever seen. I never drank alcohol in high school so it wasn't funny at JR's house because of a drunken lapse of judgment. I don't really know exactly why it wasn't funny when I watched it with my parents. Could have just been the atmosphere and the hype I had built up for them to watch it. Needless to say, I do not believe we sat through the entire movie that night. At some point, the movie was stopped and, somewhat dejected, I returned it to the video store the next day.
Fast forward to May 2011 and it was on TV, for some odd reason. Megan and I watched a little part of it. We watched the knights clap coconuts together as they galloped their fake steeds. She thought it was funny and, in fact, has referenced it several times since then. So there it was today, in the bargain bin, a measly $3.99. I had to have it.
The other movie I saw has a less thrilling history with me. It is the often criticized Starship Troopers. I like the film. I think it has a good plot and dazzling special effects.
Proceeding with the continuation of the trip to Best Buy, we are almost out the door when I decide to look at CDs. Another of my weaknesses in Best Buy. I see a bargain bin of CDs, each priced at $4.99. AH!! There's an Aerosmith live CD (blech!) and then I see it. Loverboy's "Get Lucky", a gem from my youth. There are even bonus tracks, including a demo of their hit single "Working for the Weekend."
All three of these jewels are still in the shrinkwrap. I should partake in them from 7/5-7/7!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Dio, Yngwie, and Death
- This is an interesting video.
Editor's Note - the video in question was removed from youtube.com
- It's no secret that my former employer has had to go through a lot in the last year and one-half. In 2/2010, my co-worker's daughter was found dead. In 8/2010, my co-worker was killed in a bike v. truck accident. Also that month, my manager's mother passed away. Now I have learned that the woman hired to replace me has died. All of this is in the same department. I feel bad that I can not really do anything for them.
- Today was my 3 week anniversary at my new job. I really like my job. I have been contributing in my department and I really like my manager.
- My son cannot sleep and should have been asleep over one hour ago. Now my daughter just came downstairs.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)