A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'
The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page...
So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'
The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS
AFRICAN IMMIGRANT
AND STEALS HIS LUNCH
That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days...
HOW TO START A FIGHT
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said, ‘'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said,”Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me, finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
And then the fight started...
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started.
01.If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? (weird).
02.When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought).
03.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd).
04.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking).
05.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows).
06.Can you cry under water? (let me try).
07.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else).
08.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows.)
09.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell).
10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes).
11.What does OK actually mean?.
12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch).
13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed).
14.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments).
15.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help).
16.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes you can).
17.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it).
18.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically).
19.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (I didn't had a chance to try).
20.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice).
21.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice?).
22.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law).
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Monday, July 25, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
In Spite of You
How could I make those steps daily
Without you telling me I will fail
How could I consider my life my own
WIthout you trying to take it away
I am stronger with you breathing down my throat
It gives a sense of urgency to escape
Tell me again how hopeless I am
Lights the fuel to succeed
Just to prove you wrong
Live my life each day
Hoping to never lose the will
To succeed and prosper in spite of you!
All those times you stepped on me
You told me it was a waste of time
I could sense your apathy
You didn't want me to rise unless you were still looking down
So all these years of being pushed
Time is mine to push back
Cannot mention any others
This is about redemption for my sins
Without you telling me I will fail
How could I consider my life my own
WIthout you trying to take it away
I am stronger with you breathing down my throat
It gives a sense of urgency to escape
Tell me again how hopeless I am
Lights the fuel to succeed
Just to prove you wrong
Live my life each day
Hoping to never lose the will
To succeed and prosper in spite of you!
All those times you stepped on me
You told me it was a waste of time
I could sense your apathy
You didn't want me to rise unless you were still looking down
So all these years of being pushed
Time is mine to push back
Cannot mention any others
This is about redemption for my sins
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Clear the Slate...
Editor's Note - the video in question was removed from youtube.com so it is no longer available for your viewing pleasure.
Without a doubt, if you are a Metallica fan, you need to spend time on this page, but you should probably clear your slate of things you want to do, like update your blog.
Back soon.
Without a doubt, if you are a Metallica fan, you need to spend time on this page, but you should probably clear your slate of things you want to do, like update your blog.
Back soon.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Vacation
You'll have to forgive me. I've been busy. I'm going to be off-line for a few days and will write when I return. Have a safe 4th of July. Enjoy these fireworks until I return. I can honestly say that I have at least 12 things I want to write about but do not have time to dive into them. In the meantime, here's a teaser. What rock star's home is selling for 12 million dollars?
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Peace
I should not go into Best Buy. I don't venture within very often but when I do, it's like a haze comes over my 'good judgment' side of my brain. I went in the store today to purchase two mice, one for my dad and one for me. My work PC is a laptop and I have grown tired of the touchpaddy thing as a way to work within MS Word. I walked by a bin that proclaimed a sign "Movies - $3.99 Each."
Of course, I pause and look at what they have. There's some horror movies and movies I've never heard of. There's some comedies and dramas that I wouldn't consider assets to my DVD collection.
Then I see two jewels.
The first jewel is "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," a movie I have a love/hate relationship with. It was in high school, at some time, when I watched a VHS version of this movie at John Rath's house. I remember the occasion quite vividly. I remember laughing at the clever use of humor. I walked out of JR's house thinking, "Mom and Dad will love this movie." I rented it, popped it into the VCR and... it felt like I had rented an albatross for my neck. I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever seen. I never drank alcohol in high school so it wasn't funny at JR's house because of a drunken lapse of judgment. I don't really know exactly why it wasn't funny when I watched it with my parents. Could have just been the atmosphere and the hype I had built up for them to watch it. Needless to say, I do not believe we sat through the entire movie that night. At some point, the movie was stopped and, somewhat dejected, I returned it to the video store the next day.
Fast forward to May 2011 and it was on TV, for some odd reason. Megan and I watched a little part of it. We watched the knights clap coconuts together as they galloped their fake steeds. She thought it was funny and, in fact, has referenced it several times since then. So there it was today, in the bargain bin, a measly $3.99. I had to have it.
The other movie I saw has a less thrilling history with me. It is the often criticized Starship Troopers. I like the film. I think it has a good plot and dazzling special effects.
Proceeding with the continuation of the trip to Best Buy, we are almost out the door when I decide to look at CDs. Another of my weaknesses in Best Buy. I see a bargain bin of CDs, each priced at $4.99. AH!! There's an Aerosmith live CD (blech!) and then I see it. Loverboy's "Get Lucky", a gem from my youth. There are even bonus tracks, including a demo of their hit single "Working for the Weekend."
All three of these jewels are still in the shrinkwrap. I should partake in them from 7/5-7/7!
Of course, I pause and look at what they have. There's some horror movies and movies I've never heard of. There's some comedies and dramas that I wouldn't consider assets to my DVD collection.
Then I see two jewels.
The first jewel is "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," a movie I have a love/hate relationship with. It was in high school, at some time, when I watched a VHS version of this movie at John Rath's house. I remember the occasion quite vividly. I remember laughing at the clever use of humor. I walked out of JR's house thinking, "Mom and Dad will love this movie." I rented it, popped it into the VCR and... it felt like I had rented an albatross for my neck. I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever seen. I never drank alcohol in high school so it wasn't funny at JR's house because of a drunken lapse of judgment. I don't really know exactly why it wasn't funny when I watched it with my parents. Could have just been the atmosphere and the hype I had built up for them to watch it. Needless to say, I do not believe we sat through the entire movie that night. At some point, the movie was stopped and, somewhat dejected, I returned it to the video store the next day.
Fast forward to May 2011 and it was on TV, for some odd reason. Megan and I watched a little part of it. We watched the knights clap coconuts together as they galloped their fake steeds. She thought it was funny and, in fact, has referenced it several times since then. So there it was today, in the bargain bin, a measly $3.99. I had to have it.
The other movie I saw has a less thrilling history with me. It is the often criticized Starship Troopers. I like the film. I think it has a good plot and dazzling special effects.
Proceeding with the continuation of the trip to Best Buy, we are almost out the door when I decide to look at CDs. Another of my weaknesses in Best Buy. I see a bargain bin of CDs, each priced at $4.99. AH!! There's an Aerosmith live CD (blech!) and then I see it. Loverboy's "Get Lucky", a gem from my youth. There are even bonus tracks, including a demo of their hit single "Working for the Weekend."
All three of these jewels are still in the shrinkwrap. I should partake in them from 7/5-7/7!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Dio, Yngwie, and Death
- This is an interesting video.
Editor's Note - the video in question was removed from youtube.com
- It's no secret that my former employer has had to go through a lot in the last year and one-half. In 2/2010, my co-worker's daughter was found dead. In 8/2010, my co-worker was killed in a bike v. truck accident. Also that month, my manager's mother passed away. Now I have learned that the woman hired to replace me has died. All of this is in the same department. I feel bad that I can not really do anything for them.
- Today was my 3 week anniversary at my new job. I really like my job. I have been contributing in my department and I really like my manager.
- My son cannot sleep and should have been asleep over one hour ago. Now my daughter just came downstairs.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Too Many Women Catching Up
It may just be hype, it may just be an act, but wow. Looking at the body language on both of these people... Wow. They both look terribly uncomfortable and neither of them is putting on an act for the camera. It looks like genuine contempt in Tweed's eyes and Simmons... he's obviously being grilled.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Drum Week on Letterman
I had absolutely no idea that this was on TV this week but, apparently, David Letterman was having a Drum Solo week and here is Neil Peart's performance.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Time Moves Fast
It has been an amazingly awesome and excellent week. I have gone to bed ~midnight and awakened refreshed and excited to go to work. The last week has truly been the best week in my professional career since shortly before October 15th, 2010. From 10/18 to April was hell and I have been waiting for a week like 5/31 to 6/7 for a long time.
There are three things I would list that have made this new employer, this new step in my career, this new opportunity, and this new era in my life.
There are three things I would list that have made this new employer, this new step in my career, this new opportunity, and this new era in my life.
- People are nice
- My opinion is respected
- Co-workers who think documentation is important.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Clothes, clothes, CLOTHES!!!
Wow. We went through Alex's closet and took out two huge black garbage bags of clothes to give to a nephew. The boy was a trooper, going through 2 hours of grueling 'try this on' type commands from his mother and I. Megan, for her chore, worked on her own clothes and, apparently, was able to perform the task of organizing her closet properly without the commands to try different outfits on. As far as I'm concerned, Alex has 'entered' 7th grade. It is now his responsibility to determine what fits him and what does not. If it does not fit, I expect him to let us know.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Game ON!
What a great day to be alive! My first day on the job was fantastic! Nice people, nice environment, and $1 20 oz pops in the vending machine on top of it all. I get my laptop sometime tomorrow and also there is a departmental lunch on the first Wednesday of the month. There is a 8:30 daily meeting to talk about what you are working on and my manager is very cool. She is a (cool) manager. I sit in a nice cubicle with two file cabinets. Eventually, the former inhabitant will reclaim his 3 shelves of books and I will then slowly fill it with my own books. Jesse is my cubicle neighbor and he seems nice.
On top of all that, I explained one of my pet peeves in documentation to a co-worker. I said that I had seen documentation where the menu option was something like "Options . . ." on the menu option and, in the documentation, I had read something like "On the Tools menu, select Options . . . . I said it looks really strange to have the . . . followed by an unbolded . and my new co-worker said, "It sounds like someone needs to learn how to use punctuation." EXACTLY! It seems insignificant, but really, it sealed the deal.
On top of all that, I explained one of my pet peeves in documentation to a co-worker. I said that I had seen documentation where the menu option was something like "Options . . ." on the menu option and, in the documentation, I had read something like "On the Tools menu, select Options . . . . I said it looks really strange to have the . . . followed by an unbolded . and my new co-worker said, "It sounds like someone needs to learn how to use punctuation." EXACTLY! It seems insignificant, but really, it sealed the deal.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Pics
I was in Dubuque yesterday for 99% of my day. We had family pictures taken at a studio by Target on Highway 20. I was not involved in picking out pictures so I made a dash to Target to pick up caffeine. As I walked by an end cap, there was Eddie Murphy's DVD "Delirious." Oh my. Only $5. I had to get it. It's a very funny movie - I remember watching it when I was Megan's age.
After pictures, we went to BK for lunch/early supper.
Then we went to Mass.
Then we went to Balltown.
It was a long day. I didn't get a nap in.
This is an example of Eddie Murphy comedy at its best.
And from a different show:
After pictures, we went to BK for lunch/early supper.
Then we went to Mass.
Then we went to Balltown.
It was a long day. I didn't get a nap in.
This is an example of Eddie Murphy comedy at its best.
Warning - Vulgar Language Within
And from a different show:
Friday, May 27, 2011
Letting Go
Today is about letting go. Alex graduated from 6th grade @ Regina. Letting go means saying goodbye to friends and classmates. It means knowing that no matter what is said or done, life is going to be different. It means not going swimming when your friend forgot his swimming suit. It means eating pizza and cake and shooting baskets and pool. It means smiling.
It means life is forever never going to be the way it was.
This also applies to my life. Since I left the employer where I was for 12 years, life has not been the same. Friends I had there are still important to me. We met for pizza and talked for one hour. It was the first time in 6 months. I look forward to always having the three I ate with as my friends.
At the same time, I am moving forward.
Editor's Note: Who were the three other friends you ate lunch with?
It means life is forever never going to be the way it was.
This also applies to my life. Since I left the employer where I was for 12 years, life has not been the same. Friends I had there are still important to me. We met for pizza and talked for one hour. It was the first time in 6 months. I look forward to always having the three I ate with as my friends.
At the same time, I am moving forward.
Editor's Note: Who were the three other friends you ate lunch with?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
And Justice for All
I remember looking at the guitar music for the Metallica release "And Justice for All" back in 1992. I was at band rehearsal and the guitarist in the band had it. I looked at the time signatures and thought, "This is a complicated release." I saw 7/8 time and 5/4 time and 4/4 followed by a measure of 2/4 then back to 4/4. Tonight, when waiting for Alex's drum lesson to be complete, I saw the book again, this time for sale. I thought about buying it, not because I have any desire to play guitar, but b/c I'd like to review the music being played and learn more. "Justice" is one of my top three Metallica releases (the other two being "Master of Puppets" and "Death Magnetic") so it would make sense to me to dive further into the release and really finally understand all the intricacies of the music I have listened to since the release of the album in 1989.
Life is good.
Life is good.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Jokes and a New Blog?
I have been cleaning the den and going through old papers this week. Yesterday, I found a huge stack of cartoons and jokes, dating back to 1999. I have none of them online so I'm not going to paste them here.
But it did make me think about starting a new blog, just for jokes, and having it automatically publish a new joke every day. With Blogger, you can specify when you want the post to be published. Hypothetically, I could get all these jokes entered and publish them without manually publishing them. I could be a month or several months ahead of the current date and then magically, a new joke would be posted. It's kind of an intriguing idea.
But then I thought about how crazy my life already is, how I have a huge stack of CDs and DVDs to review, how the camping season is just a few days away (6/9), and how I start a new job (Yeah!!!!) on 5/31. Don't I already have enough going on in my life without adding another 'daily' type thing? But then I think about how I wouldn't really have to do much with it except type a few jokes. I could probably find the joke somewhere online and copy/paste it into this blog that would be only for jokes.
But who would read it? http://www.ajokeaday.com/, http://www.jokeemail.com/, http://www.freedailyjoke.com/, and http://www.emailajoke.com/mailinglist/join.asp already exist. Why enter into that competitive market?
I don't either. That's why that huge stack of jokes and cartoons just ended up in the recycle bin (blue trash can, not a Windows Recycle Bin) to be used for something more meaningful.
Except for this one from http://www.jokesonmobile.com/general-jokes/i-get-all-the-thanks-i-need-.php except this was one that was in my stack of jokes.
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would have to come from his rear end. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before!
All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.
She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied," think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
But it did make me think about starting a new blog, just for jokes, and having it automatically publish a new joke every day. With Blogger, you can specify when you want the post to be published. Hypothetically, I could get all these jokes entered and publish them without manually publishing them. I could be a month or several months ahead of the current date and then magically, a new joke would be posted. It's kind of an intriguing idea.
But then I thought about how crazy my life already is, how I have a huge stack of CDs and DVDs to review, how the camping season is just a few days away (6/9), and how I start a new job (Yeah!!!!) on 5/31. Don't I already have enough going on in my life without adding another 'daily' type thing? But then I think about how I wouldn't really have to do much with it except type a few jokes. I could probably find the joke somewhere online and copy/paste it into this blog that would be only for jokes.
But who would read it? http://www.ajokeaday.com/, http://www.jokeemail.com/, http://www.freedailyjoke.com/, and http://www.emailajoke.com/mailinglist/join.asp already exist. Why enter into that competitive market?
I don't either. That's why that huge stack of jokes and cartoons just ended up in the recycle bin (blue trash can, not a Windows Recycle Bin) to be used for something more meaningful.
Except for this one from http://www.jokesonmobile.com/general-jokes/i-get-all-the-thanks-i-need-.php except this was one that was in my stack of jokes.
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would have to come from his rear end. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before!
All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.
She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied," think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Ignorance
"Come upstairs," I told my son.
25 minutes pass - no son.
And he wonders why I haven't returned his PlayStation and MP3 player to him which I took from him for - wait for it - NOT LISTENING and doing what he is told.
25 minutes pass - no son.
And he wonders why I haven't returned his PlayStation and MP3 player to him which I took from him for - wait for it - NOT LISTENING and doing what he is told.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Official Announcement
I accepted a new position as a Senior Technical Writer at a different company. I am very excited and feel very blessed to have this new opportunity to advance my career. I look forward to a long career at this company. It is a very exciting time in my life. I start Tuesday, 5/31/11.
Friday, May 20, 2011
And Here it is...
I can officially announce that I will have official exciting news ... on Monday. I am very VERY excited but need to wait just a couple of more days.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Sick
I heard the last part of this song by Adelita's Way on the radio today and really liked the energy in the music. It reminds me of Three Days Grace.
Usability
==> Date: Wed, 18 May 2011 12:06:19 -0400
==> To: techwr-l@lists.techwr-l.com
I wondered how people felt about writers pursuing courses on usability.
I think that it is a natural evolution of a TWer to draw upon their experience as a user of the software they are documenting to notice similarities and differences between a company's software. Do you need a formal course on usability? Perhaps, perhaps not. I earned a certificate at the 2008 WinWriter's Conference because I attended a certain number of sessions about usability. Does that make me an expert? Of course not. It did, however, give me some more additional credibility when discussing a UI with a developer.
The bottom line is that no matter how much you proclaim that every app will follow the standard development process, the standard development process often is a moving target. Developers often will pick up a new technique and make coding something easier for them and, at that point, usually, something in the User Interface will change. You can leverage your observation skills and pick up on these slight differences. Eventually, you will form opinions about which UI 'thing' works best. You will also be able to pick up on the flow of the screen the user has to fill out.
Tabs are often a controversial UI element. If there are a bunch of tabs, does that make the information hard to find? I used to design the GUI that laid on top of a text-based screen. I was constantly creating tabs (for various reasons) and constantly getting feedback that tabs are evil b/c they hide information. Look at the default tab of a tabbed UI and describe what is on the 4th tab *without clicking* on the 4th tab (using a shortcut key is off-limits as well.)
The point is that you, as the person that needs to explain how to use the UI to the user, can easily pick up on what works and what doesn't work. Another brief example is if you have three fields that are interlinked, there should probably be a group box around them to give the user a clue that the fields are interlinked. Maybe the Developer didn't think of that.
In the end, no, I do not think you get any more credit for usability if you have a class v. the experience of working on a team with Developers and being involved in the UI design.
My favorite UI design story is this. I was in a meeting where we were talking about the rewrite of a General Ledger application. In some places, "General Ledger" was the acronym "GL" and in other places, it was "G/L" in the screen samples we were discussing. What should we call it became the focus of the discussion. How do accountants refer to General Ledger - GL or G/L or both. Someone finally said, "What do you think?" to me. I said I don't really care. I think we should pick one and use it and then never discuss it again. The point of the story is that it is easy, too easy, to get sucked into discussions about the tiny details of the UI. The larger question for me has always been about the overall flow.
To answer the question directly, no, I do not think you have to attend courses on usability unless you are in an environment where you are not involved in the UI design decisions. Then those courses may assist you in your marketability.
==> To: techwr-l@lists.techwr-l.com
I wondered how people felt about writers pursuing courses on usability.
I think that it is a natural evolution of a TWer to draw upon their experience as a user of the software they are documenting to notice similarities and differences between a company's software. Do you need a formal course on usability? Perhaps, perhaps not. I earned a certificate at the 2008 WinWriter's Conference because I attended a certain number of sessions about usability. Does that make me an expert? Of course not. It did, however, give me some more additional credibility when discussing a UI with a developer.
The bottom line is that no matter how much you proclaim that every app will follow the standard development process, the standard development process often is a moving target. Developers often will pick up a new technique and make coding something easier for them and, at that point, usually, something in the User Interface will change. You can leverage your observation skills and pick up on these slight differences. Eventually, you will form opinions about which UI 'thing' works best. You will also be able to pick up on the flow of the screen the user has to fill out.
Tabs are often a controversial UI element. If there are a bunch of tabs, does that make the information hard to find? I used to design the GUI that laid on top of a text-based screen. I was constantly creating tabs (for various reasons) and constantly getting feedback that tabs are evil b/c they hide information. Look at the default tab of a tabbed UI and describe what is on the 4th tab *without clicking* on the 4th tab (using a shortcut key is off-limits as well.)
The point is that you, as the person that needs to explain how to use the UI to the user, can easily pick up on what works and what doesn't work. Another brief example is if you have three fields that are interlinked, there should probably be a group box around them to give the user a clue that the fields are interlinked. Maybe the Developer didn't think of that.
In the end, no, I do not think you get any more credit for usability if you have a class v. the experience of working on a team with Developers and being involved in the UI design.
My favorite UI design story is this. I was in a meeting where we were talking about the rewrite of a General Ledger application. In some places, "General Ledger" was the acronym "GL" and in other places, it was "G/L" in the screen samples we were discussing. What should we call it became the focus of the discussion. How do accountants refer to General Ledger - GL or G/L or both. Someone finally said, "What do you think?" to me. I said I don't really care. I think we should pick one and use it and then never discuss it again. The point of the story is that it is easy, too easy, to get sucked into discussions about the tiny details of the UI. The larger question for me has always been about the overall flow.
To answer the question directly, no, I do not think you have to attend courses on usability unless you are in an environment where you are not involved in the UI design decisions. Then those courses may assist you in your marketability.
Lost, but Not the Show, Part II
I looked in one additional place for the checkbook when I got up this AM and sure enough, that's where it was. All is good in that department.
It's premature to record a lot of details, but I am on the edge of having a big announcement regarding my life. It is not a bad announcement or a sad announcement. When it is posted on this blog, then you will know. There are some details that need to be worked out before I can write about it in detail. I am hopeful I will be able to write about it on Friday, 5/20, but if you are one of the three followers I have, you should not hold your breath in anticipation. The details that need to be worked out are partially out of my control and rely on other people to provide additional information before the details can be solidified.
At this point, it's wait and see.
It's premature to record a lot of details, but I am on the edge of having a big announcement regarding my life. It is not a bad announcement or a sad announcement. When it is posted on this blog, then you will know. There are some details that need to be worked out before I can write about it in detail. I am hopeful I will be able to write about it on Friday, 5/20, but if you are one of the three followers I have, you should not hold your breath in anticipation. The details that need to be worked out are partially out of my control and rely on other people to provide additional information before the details can be solidified.
At this point, it's wait and see.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Lost, but not the Show
It used to be that every so often, I would lose something and nothing I did would find it. I would retrace my steps, pray to find it, and other assorted methods when this would happen. Unfortunately, when this would happen, it would usually be related to the checkbook. This time, of course, it is the checkbook. We have two: a blue checkbook and a brown checkbook. I know where the blue checkbook is; not so much with the brown. I don't remember when I had it last. It's not sitting on the desk in the basement and I don't see an obvious place I put it so I wouldn't lose it. I have some stacks of papers and it's not there. It's not on the kid's PC desk, which is where I kind of thought I had put it. It's 9:40 and I'm tired. I will find it tomorrow. I hope.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Dangerous Waters! Iceberg Ahead!
These are my thoughts about Ashton Kutcher replacing Charlie Sheen, which I read about on this website: http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=647600 This is a risky move for a show. Off the top of my head, I can only think of a couple of times where a central character being replaced on an established show has worked.
The best examples I can think of are Cheers and M*A*S*H. In both of these shows, the characters that were replaced helped expand their show in a different direction. For Cheers, the lovable Coach character was replaced by the lovable Woody Boyd and the whiny Diane Chambers was replaced by the sometimes whiny Rebecca Howe. On MASH, Trapper was replaced by BJ, Henry Blake was replaced by Sherman T. Potter, and Frank Burns was replaced by Charles Winchester.
I would argue that the seasons of these two shows were better than the seasons with the former characters. I especially used to think that about MASH. My recollection of the early MASH episodes were that it was just a lot of slapstick. I didn't really care for the one-dimensional character that Alan Alda created in Hawkeye Pierce. His character complained about the war and then got drunk. Time has given me a different perspective. I've grown to have a deeper appreciation of the earlier episodes. The one titled "Yankee Doodle Doctor," about a documentary film being made about the 4077th has a most serious ending with Hawkeye Pierce looking directly in the camera and talking about the hell that is war.
With Cheers, I remember being apprehensive about Woody Boyd replacing Coach. Coach had a lot of funny line and a lot of comic timing. However, some of the lines from Woody Boyd are tremendously funny> I offer his comments about the Hanover Hangover Cure in "It's Lonely at the Top" as evidence. The subplots of Rebecca Howe and Robin Concord as well as Woody and Kelly gave the show a deeper dimension. The addition of Frasier and Lilith Crane also served the same purpose. Yet throughout Cheers, regular characters Norm, Cliff, Sam, and Carla all gave the show enough of a grounding in the past to satisfy fans that had been with the show since day one. That is my belief.
So now, Ashton Kutcher replaces Charlie Sheen. It is unclear to me how this will be written into the show. If the writers were smart, they would send Charlie away to a foreign country or on a long trip so that he could reprise his role for at least the series finale.
The only show I can think of, off the top of my head, that really did not work after a main character was gone is the John Ritter sitcom "8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter." After his death, the show added David Spade and James Garner as members of the family and tried to repackage the show as a bland sitcom. The renaming of the show to "8 Simple Rules" also deflated the original premise of the show, which was John Ritter's Paul character going through the pains of watching his daughters and son grow up and make their own choices. I personally think the show should have had a single final episode that wrapped up the series after Ritter's death. I do not agree with the decision - and I didn't agree with it at the time - of repackaging the same characters. Ritter was too central a character to undermine his legacy.
That said, I would state the same about Kutcher replacing Sheen. The show *is* Sheen, his ego, his poor decisions, and his comic interaction with his "brother." There is a lot for Kutcher to step into. If the writers take the show in a direction that is not about Alan and Jake living with Charlie, then I wish them a lot of luck and hope for the best. I personally do not think the show can be salvaged by Kutcher. Fans are not going to buy into his role. That's my prediction and I know it sounds evil to say that without even seeing or learning how Kutcher is going to be used. The additional loss of the Rose character is a double-whammy, for me, because her quips made the show.
As for Charlie Sheen, I find his rants funny and sad at the same time. I hope he gets whatever help he needs, if indeed he does need help. I also hope he finds a way to channel his comedic timing into another avenue, whether it is another sitcom or a movie that utilizes his talents. Personally, I vote for sitcom. I didn't really have any desire to see him in any of the movies he has been in like "Hot Shots" or ... I think that's the only one I'm aware of off-hand. He was fantastic in "The Outsiders" - I guess I could mention that movie.
In conclusion, I hope Ashton Kutcher doesn't ruin the show. I hope the writers create a character for him that is likeable and able to interact with the other characters. I also hope that the writers have the foresight to not make Charlie "dead" on the show or else they would have to bring him 'back to life' like Frisco Jones was brought back to life on "General Hospital." Remember that storyline?
The best examples I can think of are Cheers and M*A*S*H. In both of these shows, the characters that were replaced helped expand their show in a different direction. For Cheers, the lovable Coach character was replaced by the lovable Woody Boyd and the whiny Diane Chambers was replaced by the sometimes whiny Rebecca Howe. On MASH, Trapper was replaced by BJ, Henry Blake was replaced by Sherman T. Potter, and Frank Burns was replaced by Charles Winchester.
I would argue that the seasons of these two shows were better than the seasons with the former characters. I especially used to think that about MASH. My recollection of the early MASH episodes were that it was just a lot of slapstick. I didn't really care for the one-dimensional character that Alan Alda created in Hawkeye Pierce. His character complained about the war and then got drunk. Time has given me a different perspective. I've grown to have a deeper appreciation of the earlier episodes. The one titled "Yankee Doodle Doctor," about a documentary film being made about the 4077th has a most serious ending with Hawkeye Pierce looking directly in the camera and talking about the hell that is war.
With Cheers, I remember being apprehensive about Woody Boyd replacing Coach. Coach had a lot of funny line and a lot of comic timing. However, some of the lines from Woody Boyd are tremendously funny> I offer his comments about the Hanover Hangover Cure in "It's Lonely at the Top" as evidence. The subplots of Rebecca Howe and Robin Concord as well as Woody and Kelly gave the show a deeper dimension. The addition of Frasier and Lilith Crane also served the same purpose. Yet throughout Cheers, regular characters Norm, Cliff, Sam, and Carla all gave the show enough of a grounding in the past to satisfy fans that had been with the show since day one. That is my belief.
So now, Ashton Kutcher replaces Charlie Sheen. It is unclear to me how this will be written into the show. If the writers were smart, they would send Charlie away to a foreign country or on a long trip so that he could reprise his role for at least the series finale.
The only show I can think of, off the top of my head, that really did not work after a main character was gone is the John Ritter sitcom "8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter." After his death, the show added David Spade and James Garner as members of the family and tried to repackage the show as a bland sitcom. The renaming of the show to "8 Simple Rules" also deflated the original premise of the show, which was John Ritter's Paul character going through the pains of watching his daughters and son grow up and make their own choices. I personally think the show should have had a single final episode that wrapped up the series after Ritter's death. I do not agree with the decision - and I didn't agree with it at the time - of repackaging the same characters. Ritter was too central a character to undermine his legacy.
That said, I would state the same about Kutcher replacing Sheen. The show *is* Sheen, his ego, his poor decisions, and his comic interaction with his "brother." There is a lot for Kutcher to step into. If the writers take the show in a direction that is not about Alan and Jake living with Charlie, then I wish them a lot of luck and hope for the best. I personally do not think the show can be salvaged by Kutcher. Fans are not going to buy into his role. That's my prediction and I know it sounds evil to say that without even seeing or learning how Kutcher is going to be used. The additional loss of the Rose character is a double-whammy, for me, because her quips made the show.
As for Charlie Sheen, I find his rants funny and sad at the same time. I hope he gets whatever help he needs, if indeed he does need help. I also hope he finds a way to channel his comedic timing into another avenue, whether it is another sitcom or a movie that utilizes his talents. Personally, I vote for sitcom. I didn't really have any desire to see him in any of the movies he has been in like "Hot Shots" or ... I think that's the only one I'm aware of off-hand. He was fantastic in "The Outsiders" - I guess I could mention that movie.
In conclusion, I hope Ashton Kutcher doesn't ruin the show. I hope the writers create a character for him that is likeable and able to interact with the other characters. I also hope that the writers have the foresight to not make Charlie "dead" on the show or else they would have to bring him 'back to life' like Frisco Jones was brought back to life on "General Hospital." Remember that storyline?
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