Life Slips Forward

It's really pouring outside. It's 2 PM and I don't think my nephew's game in North Liberty is going to happen. We are leaving around 3 PM to go to Manchester. One of the sons of one of the MMC College Group graduates from high school and we are going to the graduation party. Rumor is that after the party, which is not at their house, the MMC College Group is going to the house.

When I think about this, I smile. Prior to 12/31/10, I might have been apprehensive about remaining sober. My track record with the MMC College Group is not very good as without a doubt, I have acted inappropriately easily more often than acting appropriately. I would have good reason to question if I would be appropriate at this gathering tonight or not. There would be a discussion, at some point, about who is going to drive and not drink booze. More often than not, I would drive. I admit I would resent being sober. I would not like being sober and I would not like being the fuddy-dud in the group that wasn't drunk and having a ball.

I have progressed, though. I like being sober. Am I more mature? Possibly. Am I smarter than I have been in the past? I think so. I think I've learned that there are important things in life and there are unimportant things in life. Being drunk, being hung over, being unable to remember what I said the morning after . . .  I get it. Now. I get now who I am and what is important to me. I envision myself as a better person now, sober, than who I was when I drank booze. Am I perfect? Of course not. Absolutely not.

I am happier. 

I am more aware of what is important to me.

And the most important piece of me - who I am - is being sober.

I want to be clear about something.

I never have considered myself the A word and I have never considered myself as crazy as those that drink an insane amount each night. I drank mainly on the weekends after college and mainly just Friday and Saturday nights. Lots of my friends, family, and others I know do that. I don't begrudge them.

I don't look down on them either. I want to be clear.

My sobriety is my choice. It is about being in control of who I am as a father, son, and husband and not doing what makes me a poor father, son, and husband. It's really that simple. When I drank, I lost control. Now, I don't drink and I have as much control as I can in life. I know that God controls more.

There's no specific reason for ranting about being sober today. Truly, this is just free writing. We are going to be leaving soon and I am not taking my laptop with me. I won't write a blog entry until Monday night, if then.

We are pulling the camper home either Sunday or Monday, depending upon which day is better weather. I am hoping for Sunday, personally, because I don't look forward to the pull home. I would much rather go from Zhwingle directly to Elkader. I don't like that we have to pull it to North Liberty. That said, I don't know if the spring will pass without the Turkey River that passes through Elkader rising to flood stage. If the camper were up in Elkader, we might have to deal with that.

Anyways, I'm done.